Friday night Fright

Today I lay in bed on continued bed rest. But let's go back a few days and fill y'all in. I was asked not to blog but after speaking with a few close persons I decided I can't not blog. This is my coping mechanism and also my way of telling my story first hand instead of it getting twisted when working its way through the chain of people. I'm sorry if I hurt feelings. With being so far away this is the best, and fastest way for everybody to know how I'm doing. With that said here we go.

Friday was a great day. I had only spotted throughout the day light pink
Which was a huge improvement. The commander and first shirt stopped by, bringing me flowers in the process, to check on us and see if there was anything they could do for us. It was wonderful. Not the best way to meet the new commander. I felt really good. I talked to mom on the phone but felt my tummy get queasy again. Went to the bathroom only to find a bloody mess. Seriously, angry now. Zeus was home and a few minutes later severe cramping set in, I mean screaming, moaning frightfully painful cramping. I knew it was another trip to the ER. Zeus called a friend to come watch the babies and off we went. I was feeling like death. We get right in at ER and they get me pain meds immediately. Morphine, saved my throat. Then it was a quick trip down the hall to ultrasound. While there the tech was very open about what she was seeing. She said yep baby was still alright, nothing in my tubes and ovaries looked great which was where my pain was centered. That helped but still didn't explain the continued blood loss and extreme pain I was in. She did take lots of pictures. So that was good for my OBGYN.
Went back and had to use the bathroom since the IV bag was pushing fluids. Once in there while washing my hands I got dizzy lightheaded and almost hit the floor. Zeus was a quick
Thinker and realized what was happening and called for help. I had lots of nurses holding me up. They wheeled me back to bed and then
Needed to administer anti nausea to relieve that horrible symptom. I needed oxygen to get me back from the episode in the bathroom. All it's was still extremely painful. Then came time for the pelvic exam. That was pure torture. The best way to get someone to tell the truth for sure. It hurt like hell. Oh man, now I'm really in pain. Doc said I was dilating a bit and she was concerned. After a few phone calls to my OB, it was decided that I could go home with hydrocodone for the continued pain and it was a wait and see game at this point. They put me on strict bed rest, only bathrooms trip should I be up.

The pain was rough later that night but Zeus kept me calm and administered meds as docs prescribed. We were up and down all night but bleeding had slowed tremendously. A good outlook from our perspective.

Saturday morning another big cramping session hit but little blood loss. Another good sign. My kids have never seen mommy screaming, crying and moaning like this. I know they thought I was dying. But Zeus was reassuring and so were our mothers and friends. My babies have been so helpful throughout this nightmare of a week. . While at hospital they made signs for my room. It was so sweet. They have been taking turns keeping me company an hour at a time. So cute, we even watched a movie all in the bed last night. Fun for the situation. I was sad that I let them down since we had 3 big events planned this weekend. I apologized to them. Hopefully they'll forgive me.

Sunday, I slept all night. It was the best sleep yet and I didn't need meds for over 20hrs. Up and to the bathroom the bleeding was now brown and only spots. Making progress I think. Zeus was able to give me a shower and Zulu brushed my hair. The base has organized a meal train for us and that has been amazing help. Such wonderful people and yummy food. We even get dessert a couple times. So I'm still in bed. But I'm all set up with flowers, kid picked rose, water, meds , smell good candle, water fountain on and control of the remotes. I'm being taken good care of for now.

So we are still pregnant and coconut still has a good heartbeat. We just take it day by day from here. Off to the OBGYN tomorrow to check again.

Please continue praying for the safety of me and coconut. Pray Apollo and Athena will understand our needs and are coping with all the uncertainty. We are OK today. Thank God he is watching over us. This is his plan. We
Just do as he says no matter how painful or bumpy it gets. Give god the glory.
Blessings bloggie buddies

Bed rest

So Tuesday was a really rough day. From speeding ticket to ER visit it was an emotional day. Thankfully yesterday was a little better. Zeus was allowed to come home and will be replaced by a good friend. I was surrounded by my military family. With all our families living in Texas and Washington I didn't have loved ones to lean on. But I did, my military family has all stepped in the do what needed to be done. It's beautiful to feel this loved.

I did get to go to my OBGYN the first time yesterday. Pretty sucky circumstances, ya know. My OB is wonderful. Everything I needed her to be. She was confident, honest and helpful all while thoroughly answering my questions. We left knowing that we still had a baby on board. That was relieving. But she put me on bed rest and pelvic rest. Nothing or anyone comes near my hooha til next week.
Now it's simply a waiting game. Through all the pain, fear, sadness, and letdown I will remember God is here. This is his plan. This is his baby. This is his body. I'm just renting. I have to trust him. He will get us through the best and worst of this journey. He knows when it ends and if another begins.

I'll be honest. Today has sucked. I'm Lonely. Zeus is taking care of kids readying them for their first day of school tomorrow. I didn't have any visitors, besides the food delivery. Which by the way was awesome. I woke up bleeding heavily this morning, but much less than Tuesday night. As the day progressed it lessened to almost none. Then I sat up and played cards with my Zulu. After a bathroom visit I was bleeding again. So I told Zulu mommy had to lay flat and rest. That made me feel like such a jerk, I couldn't even play with my son. Who does that? I've been in bed all day fighting the urge to cry to get angry with the world. It came time together my shot and I didn't ice and let Zeus give it to me. That was the worst idea of the entire day. It burned and hurt so bad I got dizzy, lightheaded and even screamed loudly. I wanted to punch him. Especially when he had no sympathy. Can I just have my nurse or doctor come back and give me my shots? Now I'm so emotional it's retarded.
So here I lay with water fountain running, card table set up with my computer, phone, iPad, drinks and wonderful smelling candle. I'm bored, tired, frustrated, irritated and mad at the world. Please forgive me if I sound ungrateful or selfish. I'm just bitter as I'm pretty independent and controlling and I have to let go of my own body. Gods got this, right? Right. I'll keep telling myself that.
Pray my bleeding ends sooner than later and I heal properly. Pray I can carry coconut to term so that these more loving people can finally call themselves parents.

Bless you all for the continued prayers.

So Bed Rest it is!

Rough night

Well after all the wonderful news of heartbeats and no more shots yesterday we were hit with a huge slap in the face, reality check.

After I made the babies quesadillas for dinner we played scattergories. I was relaxing on the couch when my stomach started feeling funky. So off to the bathroom I went. Immediately after sitting down the blood poured from my bottom. It was excessive. I freaked. I cried. I panicked. I called Zeus who was more than 800 miles away. My brain was fuzzy. I couldn't think straight. What was happening to me? This was way to much blood for this to be ok. Zeus told me he'd make some calls. I called my mom then as I couldn't even talk straight, pure panic. Zeus had called a former neighbor who is a doctor. Our friend J came to get me take me to ER. Zeus then called his boss and his wife met us at the ER. Then he called another coworker to ask if they could help with our babies. I talked to Zeus until I left for ER. We made it to ER and they for me in pretty quick after a struggle with a computer for registration. Thankfully J was by my side and I didn't have to do it alone. G, bosses wife and friend was there for moral support. After more bleeding, passing blood clots the size of apples. I finally had an ultrasound. They found baby Coconut still comfy with heartbeat. They ruled out other abdominal issues as well. I then needed to get the lovely Rhogam shot to help since my blood is negative and Apollos is positive.

That shot went in my booty, of course, and hurt like the dickens. Boy did it sting like fire.

After that I was given Tylenol-3, and anti nausea meds. I began to shake uncontrollably, which I do in labor or severe pain, for a half hour or so. That scared me even more. J and G were such positive thinkers and help keep my mind in a good place.

After two different sets of blood draws, a huge shot, a pelvic exam, full abdomen ultrasound, pain medicine, lots of waiting I'm finally at home resting.
Zeus is driving home as you read. K and A have my babies taken care of til Zeus is home tomorrow. E stopped by to let dogs out and is bringing me lunch. S came by to lift my spirits with her sweet little boy T. G is taking me to doctor again this afternoon for an OBGYN check up.

I'm ok. Still bleeding minor but much better today. I'm terribly sore and tired.

Please pray for all of us. Patience for the sitter, understanding for Zeus unit, hope for Apollo and Athena. Pray for me and coconuts safety.

Ultrasound #2, Do You See What I See?

Bloggie buddies, welcome back to the latest update in the world of surrogacy.

Today is the day we make or break this journey. Today we needed to see/hear a heartbeat and measure a fetal pole. I've been really feeling pregnant by the symptoms of  nausea, tiredness, sore breasts, bloated belly. So I figured things would be fine today. I know Apollo and Athena were really nervous and anxious. But thankfully they are on vacation with parents so they are staying busy.
Ultrasound went great today, technician even let me take some pictures and video to share with y'all. Wasn't that nice? I thought so.

We have a Baby, folks. Coconut is its new nickname. Coconut has a heartbeat about 132 bpm. That's perfect for almost 7 weeks. Coconut also has a fetal pole showing its growth and viability. Our little Coconut is measuring perfect. Aren't you guys excited?

Yesterday while cooking dinner I had a bit of an episode. Oh yeah, steamed broccoli is a NO NO until I'm no longer nauseous. It was so bad, thankfully sweet Zero took over and finished since Zeus continues to be out of town. She's such a great helper. Never had that happen before. That's my first trigger, broccoli. Thanks to Zero, she put it on the erase board so everyone knows not to have broccoli around Mommy. Quite the evening.

Todays appointment concludes that we have been released to a regular OBGYN with a scheduled appointment for the 28th. That's super exciting as I receieved the approved referral to the Doctor that I wanted yesteday in the mail. She's rated in the top 15 in the country. Not to shabby.

Anyone wanna see the pictures? yes, no. I thought you'd never ask.

Blessings

The black stuff is the amniotic fluid surrounding little Coconut.

Gotta turn your head for this one, it was being stubborn and would not turn. But you can see our little Coconut.

Little Coconuts heartbeat as it is measured.

If you look at this video you can see Coconut has a fluttering heart, look close. There is no sound.

Blessings to all for your continued prayers

6 weeks

Ladies and Gentlemen

We made it to 6 weeks. Are any of you as excited as I am? I bet Apollo and Athena are! Today I took my kiddos school supply shopping. Holy Moly, that was crazy. Over $300 later we have backpacks loaded ready to take to school next week. Zeus has hit the road for his business trip.

Tonight I had to go to a friends house to have her give me my shot. I will have to do this until Zeus gets back since my kiddos aren't old enough to give me a shot yet. It was better than normal tonight. However, after my appt next week I think I might get down on my hands and knees and beg my doctor in Seattle to please let me stop the shots and change to suppositories. My booty hurts so darn bad. I can't even begin to explain. The lack of sleep is beginning to catch up to me since I cannot sleep on my back or either hip, I have to sleep on my stomach and that is growing so yea, I'm a mess.

Here's a new picture. Notice anything? Here's a hint, my pants don't button anymore.

Baby is the size of a Sweet Pea
Still craving tomatoes and popcorn
Now, I'm just TIRED. So TIRED.

Next week fingers crossed we should hear the heartbeat. Also hoping that's the last time to the fertility clinic and we can then go to the regular OBGYN.

Thank you all so much for all the prayers. We all appreciate them immensely.

Blessings Buddies

Our first sonogram

Thursday was our first sonogram. There was a lot weighing on this appointment. We were not completely sure it was a viable pregnancy. It was scary going in thinking I could need surgery or a heavy medication. I had assured myself I was not having an ectopic pregnancy. So it was a long drive in to the doctor. I also was thinking how Apollo and Athena were doing, what could they be thinking or feeling? Did they understand all this medical jargon?

So the appt was about 11am. I got into ultrasound pretty quickly but the tech was silent and didn't share much info at all. She did show me my uterus and the area that a sac could be in if there was one but really was vague about seeing anything. After she was done, about 30 minutes they took me to another room to see the doctor. It took over an hour before I got to see him. So I sat half naked on the table waiting patiently, or impatiently since I was to take my daughter to the orthodontist in 45 minutes. During that time Zeus got stuck at an awards ceremony and couldn't take Zero. So while on the table I called Ortho and rescheduled her appt later in the month since it was not looking good that we would make it on time.

Then a while later the doc came in. He had a solemn look. That scared me even more. First thing he said was my tubes looked clear for now. We would need to monitor them carefully over the next few weeks. Huge relief. Like enough for him to recognize my reaction. Then he said they could see two sacs in the uterus. He shared that was great. We had one precious embryo attached correctly to my uterine lining. That was wonderful. I know most people were hoping for 2 babies but our main goal was one baby. And thankfully the Lord is in control and he gave us one. So at this point we are
Measuring on time for a due date of April 2, 2013.

We now must schedule a second ultrasound to measure fetal pole and baby heartbeat. During this time I need my insurance to refer me to an obgyn. On Friday Zeus and I went in to chat with the OB coordinator. It was a long chat explaining that Catholic hospitals don't deliver surrogate babies and we needed a slightly different referral than most. Hopefully that goes through soon so we can get this second one done and we can relax for a bit.

I will ask for prayers as Zeus is leaving for a while and my super mom wings will be on in full force. Pray that my referral gets approved. Pray that the shots will go away real soon since my booty is beyond sore. I'm not sleeping comfortably since my poor rump throbs when I lay on it. Pray for a continued normal pregnancy.

Blessings bloggie buddies

5 weeks

Today we hit 5 weeks. Tomorrow I have an ultrasound to make sure baby is growing in the uterus and not in the stomach cavity or fallopian tube. We will also find out if it's one or more. I thought I'd start something fun for all of you long distant folks. We get to Skype with Apollo and Athena tonight too. I did get the ball rolling to transfer to a regular OB today and I found out that I was in fact pregnant. Surprise!!!! Ok, so you already knew that. But it has to be done again for my insurance, so why not share it with all of you. Today's morning sickness was much better than yesterday's. I had to get out of shower early yesterday to keep from passing out. It was BAD, ALL DAY. Thank goodness that was only one day. Woo Hoo

5 Weeks~

Baby is size of an Orange seed
Craving: Tomatoes, Hot tea, Popcorn

Feeling: Tired and Slight Morning Sickness

Will post update to tomorrows appointment. Again hoping for good news.

Prayers are still very much appreciated. Thank In advance.

Blessings