34 weeks and 2 hospital visits

We made it another week, which is fantastic. But let me share with you the adventures of this very week.

So it started out with a threat of severe winter weather. I wasn't to worried about it in the beginning. I had a NST appt set for early Thursday morning. Should be no problem since the storm was not due to arrive until lunchtime. So I mentally prepare myself and try to relax when I arrive at the office. Once in the chair and all strapped up and the test could begin. Coconut seemed a bit sleepy and was not bouncing around too terribly much. So we sit through the first 20 minutes and he was not reacting appropriately. They give me another 20 minutes and same thing. After this they tell me I need to eat some candy, so M&M's were consumed to get him to "wake up". This did not work either. Doc came in after another 20 minutes of monitoring and said I must go over to the hospital as I failed this NST. Click this link to read more about these tests.  At the hospital they would continue to monitor me and do a BPP, Bio Physical Profile of the baby. Click this link to understand a BPP. So I was hooked up to the monitor and watched for another hour. Still not spiking the 15bpm/ for 15 secs. So the BPP was ordered and I was wheeled back to the radiology dept for the test. We scored perfect on that test and everything looked great. He even stuck his tongue out at us on the monitor. Silly Coconut. After this the sleet began to fall and my phone was almost dead. I was frustrated as I was all alone. Zeus was released from work at 11am due to the deteriorating weather conditions. Thankfully his Boss, J.D. was willing to drive him up to the hospital. After more monitoring and back and forth phone calls with my Doctor at the office and the nurse attending to me we were released after 1:30pm. The sleet was now over 2 1/2 inches thick and it was sticking to everything. Thankfully I did not have to drive home alone as I felt run over by a bus. I was frustrated and upset that things just are getting complicated now. So we drove less than 30mph home which took well over an hour with us stopping to clean off windshield wipers that became encased in ice and rendered them useless. What a mess. Thankfully we made it home safely and would not need to go back until Monday.

Then came Monday. The In-laws had arrived on Friday after a long 24 hr delay from the weather so my Mother-in-Law asked to join me at the doctors office. That was really nice so I did not have to go it alone. Basically same thing happened as Thursday just without the weather. Failed NST. Forced to eat candy. Sent to hospital. Another NST, another BPP. More phone calls to office and lots of answering questions. Then we were determined to go home that baby once again looked and seemed to be doing just fine. It was much better to have someone to talk to that's for sure. We were then told that I would probably go from being seen twice a week to three times a week after I had a Cord Doppler exam and another NST on Wednesday. Click this link for Cord Doppler explanation.

So now we wait until Wednesday to see what the next step is and where we go from here. Oh, and coconut is still breach so we are looking at a turning procedure next week as well. What fun that will be.

Here's a Youtube video of that turning procedure they will be doing next week. Yeah, looks painful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wj3RMqoZnC8


So what was to be an amazing journey is turning into quite the job. Its frustrating at best these days. I just want everything to be fine, normal and go smoothly. I must remember God is still in control. I ask that all of you add us to the prayer list. Prayer that baby will turn and be head down, pray that labor can be preformed naturally, pray that parents will not panic and be OK with whatever needs to be done. Please pray for all the doctors for wisdom. I thank you for following this journey and I'll continue to keep you all up to date.

Blessings Bloggie Buddies

32 weeks and counting.....

Today was a fairly lengthy and wild doctor appt. I had a feelin going in that it could be a bit different. Thankfully I was able to talk Zeus into going in with me since he did have the day off.

We were told as soon as we arrived that Doctor was called to hospital for emergency C section and would be awhile. Luckily for me there are 2 doctors and 2 midwives so we opted to see the midwife instead of waiting hours.

Blood pressure measured normal, which was good news. Fundal height is measuring exactly at 32 weeks. Coconuts heart rate was measured at 141, perfect for this stage in the game. I lost a pound which was no problem either. Then it was time to start my NST, non stress test used to measure baby's movements with heart rate. So they strapped me down with two monitors, one to measure heart rate and the other to measure contractions. We needed 2, 15 bpm spike within 20mims. Today I had the 15bpm spike but not within 20 mins so they left me on the monitor longer to get the spikes but they didn't come in timely fashion. So I was whisked off to the ultrasound room so they could measure 4 other things. They needed to see "practice breathing" basically just his little lungs moving up and down. This one was imperative. We got it within the first 20 secs of ultrasound. Then we needed to check 4 areas for normal fluid levels. All areas looked great. Then we needed to see baby move. Got it, he's a busy bee so this was no problem. Then we needed to look at his heart for good beating and all looked great. So that ended up only taking about 5-7 minutes.

Now we go in every 4 days for follow up NST tests. Then once a week regular OB exams. So from here on out it's gonna get wickedly busy. Thankfully Zeus is home from Afghanistan and should be able to help me manage all the kids appts and activities.

It was a good appointment today.

30 wks Successful

We are just cruising right along folks. Yesterday was my 30 wk appt and it went great. My weight, BP and Fundal height are all normal. Mr. Coconuts heart rate is about 145 so he is doing fantastic.

I'm a single mom right now since Zeus is deployed to that awful desert place. I'm thankful its only a 4-6 wk deployment. Thanks God. But it gets interesting around here when he is away. I have to put super mom wings on and push through the issues. I had a pressure sensor come on in my car so I needed air in my tires. Have you ever seen a pregnant woman try to put air in her tires when it's below 20 degrees? HAHAHA, yeah I did attempt to do that Tuesday night. Clearly it did not go very well. So I asked the wife of one of Zeus' co-workers if he could help me this morning. Thankfully he obliged and was able to safely get the right amount of air in my tires without having to stand up 5 separate times. I was wonderful. I'm so very thankful. It's funny how when Zeus leaves crazy things happen around here. Always, thankfully we have not had a hospital trip yet and hope to not have one any time soon.

The kids are really starting to question this baby and the ins and outs of how he is gonna arrive. Their questions are good, don't get me wrong, however they are super curious children and some of these questions have been rather tough to answer. But nonetheless their interest has been raised a ton as the bulging basketball gently turns into a beach ball.

Doctor says we will be seen again in 2 wks and at that point it will be every 4 days or twice a week however you want to look at it. So I may need to set a play list on my phone for the fun trips back and forth. Its all for precautionary reasons since I was diagnosed with High Blood Pressure 10 weeks ago. It for the safety of both me and Coconut. Not great news as these appt.s will last much longer but hey its what's right for the lil guy.

So here's a fun picture of my oldest two boys, Omega and Zulu imitating my pregnancy.

So life is continuing on week by week as we get closer and closer to the arrival of Mr.Coconut, who I hope has a name real soon.

Blessings.
Thanks for your continued prayers and thoughts through this journey.
Twinkle

Mr Coconuts first Santa picture

Today my family had breakfast with Santa at the youth center on base. It was super yummy. We played games and had lots of fun. We thought it'd be fun to share Coconuts growth progress. Didn't want to leave him out. I have been slacking in belly photos, so here's a special one.

22 1/2 weeks along.
Lots of headaches
Strong kicks
Growing belly
Hypertension controlled

Just a few highlights of this pregnancy. Things are moving along quite nicely. So glad it's christmas time, I LOVE this time of year.

Blessings Bloggie buddies

National News

The news is my favorite thing to read, watch and search. Most of my close friends and family can tell you that I am a little obsessed with knowing what happens in the world around me. That can be good and bad these days.

But this week it just so happens to be a good thing. Like most mornings, I turn on the Today Show to see what is happening while browsing the web news sites. It just so happens that the Today Show covered Surrogacy in a very positive segment this week. Most magazine articles, TV shows and news stories show a more negative side of surrogacy. I was pleased to see the positive segment.

http://video.today.msnbc.msn.com/today/49286326

Here is the link if you would like to watch the segment. It is interesting to see what others think and how it is viewed. I am glad that it is finally not such a Taboo subject anymore. Its important that people have options. I'm thankful for those willing to stand up for these way to parenthood.
I wouldn't mind doing a news story at some point about the process, the support, the love and the reason why I chose this route.

I thank you all for reading and continuing to follow me.

I'm in my 14th week and each day is different. Some days I crave fish, others its cranberries, some its bell peppers, rice. Each day it changes. The nausea is still around but it minor. As long as I've got something in my belly I'm usually OK. I really have to watch what I eat and how much of it. I have indigestion that horrid and heartburn when I eat too much spice. The belly gets bigger by the day and I'm officially in maternity clothes. I was able to buy a maternity coat this past week so that the winter days are not miserable.

I had to sit my babies down the other night and try to understand the significance of this pregnancy and the consequences of their actions around me. It was not fun but needed since I have 3 rambunctious boys. I was sad watching them cry when I explained the consequences. I hadn't envisioned the need to explain all this to them but they can't understand completely the importance of this sacrifice. They just want Mommy but Mommy has to be very careful since we are so High Risk. Being a surrogate, you never understand what your own kids might feel, go through or imagine. I now know mine still have not grasped this completely even the oldest. It's huge. So I ask you pray for my babies to accept this sacrifice and that Zeus and I find a way to make them feel special and a part of this process. Tough Time.

I ask for continued prayers for coconut, myself, Zeus and the HP's. Blessings to all of you. Glory to God that we made it another week.

Blessings

Ultrasound #2, Do You See What I See?

Bloggie buddies, welcome back to the latest update in the world of surrogacy.

Today is the day we make or break this journey. Today we needed to see/hear a heartbeat and measure a fetal pole. I've been really feeling pregnant by the symptoms of  nausea, tiredness, sore breasts, bloated belly. So I figured things would be fine today. I know Apollo and Athena were really nervous and anxious. But thankfully they are on vacation with parents so they are staying busy.
Ultrasound went great today, technician even let me take some pictures and video to share with y'all. Wasn't that nice? I thought so.

We have a Baby, folks. Coconut is its new nickname. Coconut has a heartbeat about 132 bpm. That's perfect for almost 7 weeks. Coconut also has a fetal pole showing its growth and viability. Our little Coconut is measuring perfect. Aren't you guys excited?

Yesterday while cooking dinner I had a bit of an episode. Oh yeah, steamed broccoli is a NO NO until I'm no longer nauseous. It was so bad, thankfully sweet Zero took over and finished since Zeus continues to be out of town. She's such a great helper. Never had that happen before. That's my first trigger, broccoli. Thanks to Zero, she put it on the erase board so everyone knows not to have broccoli around Mommy. Quite the evening.

Todays appointment concludes that we have been released to a regular OBGYN with a scheduled appointment for the 28th. That's super exciting as I receieved the approved referral to the Doctor that I wanted yesteday in the mail. She's rated in the top 15 in the country. Not to shabby.

Anyone wanna see the pictures? yes, no. I thought you'd never ask.

Blessings

The black stuff is the amniotic fluid surrounding little Coconut.

Gotta turn your head for this one, it was being stubborn and would not turn. But you can see our little Coconut.

Little Coconuts heartbeat as it is measured.

If you look at this video you can see Coconut has a fluttering heart, look close. There is no sound.

Blessings to all for your continued prayers

Day 1, and we are off and running or stabbing

Well silent readers, today is the day that the 4 of us have looked forward to for a long time. The day meds were started. I've really avoided the topic most the day other than when my dear Mother in Law called to check and see how it went. But I didn't have much to share with her, since I'm waiting til evening time to take the meds. Now I do.

Are you guys all wondering how it went? I bet you are. But I have something I want to ask of each of you, first.

 I really do look forward to hearing from or reading your thoughts. So please leave me comments at the bottom of each blog topic. I have no idea who's following my story and I shouldn't worry about it but it is nice to know your thoughts too.

So tonight I was rather freaked out when I got all the papers, materials, needles, boxes and etc. all laid out. I must say I have never really been fully interested in all this medical stuff. So I never have paid attention when someone drew medicine from a vial into a needle. Why the heck would I need to know that? That was dumb, because today I needed to know how to do that.

While all the babies were watching movies in their rooms I prepared myself for this medical procedure. Zeus is out of town for the week so I could not rely on him to do it for me. I had to gain the strength to do this myself. Glory to God for this strength.

So here is the medicine, needle and the alcohol to clean both the meds and my tummy.

Cap off now and ready to wipe clean with the alcohol

Now the needle is ready to dispense the medicine

All set, Now to clean my tummy with the alcohol

Here I go, giving  myself the very first injection of this journey, my first surrogacy journey.

OUCH, Holy Toledo that hurt. I have no clue what people say that doesn't hurt. YIKES. The best part is that I did not get dizzy, no lightheadedness, no tummy ache. That is the first time ever for me. However I think I sweat for about 30 minutes afterwards.

Now, I have never taken hormones other than a few weeks of birth control pills. So, I have no idea how my body or mind will react to this medication. Should Zeus and the babies be scared, I don't know. I just hope that the daily injections don't make me go haywire. I'll apologize in advance for any wild emotional behavior. Just blame it on the medication.

Today I made it. I did something I never thought I'd ever be able to do. I gave myself the first injection of medication. I am now one more day closer to the goal of a pregnancy.

Say a little prayer that tomorrows injection goes as well as today. Say a prayer that my HP's hearts will be opened to the vulnerabilities that we parents experience through this journey. Say a prayer that Zeus travels safely home after his week in Ohio. Say a prayer that I will not have negative reactions to the medication. Leave me a comment!!!

Blessings and we are off and running or stabbing.

SIGNED. SEALED. DELIVERED.

Oh my goodness today has finally turned out to be a HUGE, and I mean HUGE relief.

Yesterday, well that day needs to just be erased from history. It was the worst day we have had throughout this whole process. I won't go into detail just know we were bantering back and forth with lawyers to finalize the contract. I think I cried more than I have in years. Puking, nausea, and sadness  were all experienced yesterday. Ewwwww, just not something I ever want to deal with again. So glad my eyes were not swollen shut today, just puffy.

Thankfully today is a new day. A sunny, warm, happy and tummy calmed day. A day with smiles. A day with positive communication. A day planning future trips. A day seeing Insurance Agents. A day of peace. A day of milestones.

 I woke up to a phone call from the lawyer. She is quick, which is amazing.  She had heard from the other lawyer and all was well with the legal agreement and we were set to sign. After receiving our copy in the late afternoon I ran, OK maybe drove but you get my drift,  to Zeus' work so we could have two, neutral, of age adults witness our signing and then sign as well. Nothing like telling someone 2 minutes before they are to sign something about our impending journey. Zeus has a way of doing that. HAHAHA. We found two gracious characters to help us complete our portion. Then we had to scan, attach and email it back to the lawyer. Many other copies will be sent through mail.

So happy we are done with that part of this journey. If anyone wants or is interested in ever starting their own journey I must say that this has got to be the hardest part thus far. But, with patience, love and loads more of love we are officially, legally bound to this journey. It's weird to finally be done with this MAJOR and I mean major step of the process. I never imagined finally making it this far. I am so thankful for all the prayers and for Gods hand in all this.

Today we are now mere days from starting the next big step. Medication, OK maybe not so much medication as INJECTIONS. Yikes, I'm a bit nervous as I will start while Zeus is in Ohio. But it's only 7 days right. I mean all I have to do is give myself 7 shots without him, should be no big deal right? NOT!!! Maybe I should teach my 11 yr old how to administer these. Ok, Ok, Ok not the brightest idea I've ever had but it sure sounds better than having to do it myself, doesn't it.  Man, I'm not sure how surrogates do this without a partner to support them and love them and ultimately stab them with a needle everyday. Oh well, he will be home very soon after that and then he can assume his husbandly duties of administering these ugly shots to his fragile wife. Stop laughing, I am fragile. OK, so maybe not, just don't tell him that. He's been AWESOME every step of the way. Especially yesterday, he was like Honey, my nickname, its no big deal, all will get worked out and life will go on while he sat in his office chair shrugging his shoulders without any sign of concern while I sat bawling my eyes out. Such a loving, comedian I live with and somehow love. After all that. It was a good day.

 We are finally SIGNED.SEALED. DELIVERED.

Look what I got today

Today I received a HUGE box from the nice UPS man. Ziggy actually intercepted the box and carried it in for me. He said WOW MOM, that's a big box. He's so sweet. But today the box that arrived is just another step in the process of baby carrying. It's full of medication. Ridiculous amount of medication.

Yeah that is a lot of medication that I will be using to get through this journey. It actually made me sick looking at it all. The sheets of needles and syringes increased the nausea feeling that overwhelmed me. I'll be honest here, I am not the best receiver of shots.

 OK, so when I was standing in that awful line while in basic training, just seeing the airman with injectors that looked like guns made me nervous, sick and weak in the knees. The first shot I almost hit the floor, but by the third one I could not put one foot in front of the other one and had to be carried to the seats below before I hit the ground. I get light-headed, dizzy, nauseous and don't feel well for about thirty minutes. This does not bod well for the upcoming weeks.

So, I'm hoping that the first injections that I must give myself in my abdomen are not going to be that bad. They are supposed to be smaller, diabetic needles.  I have exactly 11 days to come to terms with the fact that I will receive 16 weeks of these injections daily. That's 112 shots. Oh My Word, maybe I like the number 16 better. I think I have gone insane. Yep, maybe, probably, most likely, no most definitely, I have gone crazy to think these shots are going to be no problem. Well, I'll adjust. If not then we'll just have to give them when I have an hour to lay down. Maybe before bed. Not sure yet. But anyways this is an amazing process no less.

My family is beginning to make travel plans to the Northwest. We are so excited to get to meet the HP's. The kids are so excited to see Nana and Grandpa too. We also received some even better news today. Zeus is NOT deploying before next April. Yes, you read that right I almost did this journey alone. Thankfully God's hand is still at work. My God is an awesome God and knowing that I am sure giving myself these shots will be supported by God and he will give me the needed courage.

Please continue to pray for us through this process.

 I was told by Doctor the other day that we have an 81% chance of pregnancy and a 65% chance of twins. How amazing that would be to give my HP's not only a baby but two babies.

Stay tuned for more info.

Blessings Bloggie Buddies

God, I'm Listening this time

Welcome to my new blog friends!

Today I begin sharing the journey I've been walking about 2 months now. Let me go back and share from the beginning.

About 2 months ago, early April to be exact Zeus, my husband, received an email that will forever change our lives. The email was an adoption update from a long time friend of Zeus. The email asked where we were in our lives and if I was still interested in becoming a surrogate. This jump back a bit and I'll fill you in a little more.

 Most people know that I've had surrogacy on my mind for over 4 years now. But I never had much motivation to find someone and when I did those people were not interested or had something else going on in there life. But as time has gone by God has continued to put little clues out there reminding me that he wanted me to do this. Several times I ignored him or I just brushed him aside. Not this time. I decided to listen. I see the signs, I hear the voice and now I have chosen to walk the walk, one step at a time. Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot.

So Zeus replied to the email and shared that he felt we needed to talk "face to face" via skype. We set a time up that worked for both families. During the passing days Zeus and I talked through every aspect of the process. Feelings, cost, sacrifices, family support, intentions, effects on our children and every other thing you can think of when jumping into a serious situation. The day came for our skype and the both of us were nervous wrecks. We had never met the wife before. Sure we researched every piece and lead we could find about this couple. Google can really be your best friend if you just use it. We weren't sure how this "meeting" was going to go. But we left it in Gods hands. Through fear and loads of sweat we sat on the couch side by side in support of each other.The meeting ended up with us saying YES. Yes, we were willing to begin the surrogacy process and see how far it would take us. Yes, we wanted to help a couple have their own family. Yes, we were willing to share our time with another family. Yes, if we were faced with the same terrible news we would want someone to do the same thing for us. Plain and simple.

So there it was. We had just listened to God and we felt relieved but we were more scared than anything. I couldn't stop thinking of all the things that could come up along the way. But I put my focus on the positive, faith in the Lord and I made 2 phone calls. The first to my Mom and the second to Zeus' Mom. We wanted to run it by them, ask their opinion and let them know we needed their support, 100%. Both Moms were 100% for our decision. Whew! What a huge relief. That support was worth no amount of money. I cried, I'll be honest. It was emotional. At that point we knew God was in control and would guide us through this process every. single. step.

So there you have it. By the Grace of God and the love in our hearts we have begun the long, bumpy, fulfilling journey of Surrogacy aka Gestational Carrier.

Step inside and follow us along on the journey of extreme emotions on this amazing, God controlled, roller coaster.

 I'm not the Momma, just the belly!!!!