2 months old

Today sweet baby coconut is 2 months old. Unfortunately I don't know much about his milestones. Being thousands of miles away keeps me from knowing a whole lot. It makes me sad but this is the way it is. I do get pictures every now and then and for that I'm so very grateful.

I did get to send him some gifts and a homemade diaper cake along with a handmade blanket just for him. He had his first baby shower yesterday so I was lucky be able to share some special books and such with him.

I'm sad but today was a good day for me as I was nominated as key spouse for Scott AFB and I also won key spouse for for the 688 information operation wing. It's a great honor as I love this job. So that kept me smiling.

We are now less than 3 weeks before we depart St Louis.

3rd month, 3 weeks, 3 sisters, 3 babies

Well today it's been 3 weeks since I delivered that sweet baby coconut. I'm recovering very slowly but making progress everyday. It's the small things that show my improvement. But today I wanted to share something unique to my family and our journey.

So I don't have any blood sisters, I have many, many brothers. But thankfully those brothers married women, who have become my sisters. It's the next best thing. My little brother and Zeus' little brother have beautiful wives who I love dearly. After I talked of getting pregnant with someone else's baby, months before we did I think I put a bug in my sisters ears. I thought how cool it would be to be pregnant with family members. But never really thought about it again.

Once I started the process of shots, hormones and readying my body for IVF I shared a lot of info with my sisters. Our families were very supportive of my decision to help another couple become the sought after family they hoped for. As time went on and I became pregnant it was obvious that my brothers families wanted to each extend their family with one more. Amazingly enough several weeks into my pregnancy both sisters shared they were pregnant. As we learned days later that one was due late Feb, the other late March and me early April. S was due about 5 weeks ahead of me and C was due just a few days ahead of me.

Now that March had arrived S was late and thankfully went into labor on her own on March 4 delivering a healthy baby girl naturally, Kendall Grace 7lbs 3oz and 18in.

Terribly, two days later I woke to a huge water puddle in my bed. Yes, my water broke at just 36 weeks pregnant. Since Coconut was breach I was forced to have a c-section that morning. So on March 6 at 8:23am weighing 5lbs, 9oz and 18.5in, Luke Timothy was born.

Just a few weeks later my darling sister C had a scheduled C-section. On March 25, at 8:17am weighing 9lbs and 21in, Burke Levi arrived.

Amazingly enough on both sides of our families we have a new niece and a new nephew and Lil Luke will also be called our nephew.

It was an amazing story that for the rest of our lives we will remember and these 3 babies hopefully will meet some day, at least that is my hope.

Here are the pictures of the pregnant Mommas and the babies. Which one is which?

My precious surro baby

Yesterday I was able to be given a hospital pass from my hospital bed. This means I got to take a ride to Cardinal Glennon Children's hospital to see my little belly baby, coconut. I was so anxious and nervous that I couldn't really say what I was feeling. I just wanted to get my hands on him. There's something about having a baby grow in your belly, even knowing that baby is not biological to you.
When I was wheeled to his room I was in awe of him. I teared up and tried to hide it from everybody. I'm trying my best to be strong and happy for coconuts parents. I am happy for them. But I'm a little sad that my part is over. Coconut has etched his life into my head, my heart and on my stomach. There will never be a day that goes by that I won't think about him. He is a beautiful boy. I'm sad he decided to come early. I wanted to make this journey as memorable and special as I could but we lost a few things with the early birth. While visiting I was able to feed him and hold him. It was very special to me. We took some pictures. It's great to see his parents so excited and happy to have a son. My hopes are that he'll always know me, my story, what I did and that I'll always love him. No he is not my son but I carried him, nurtured him, loved him, fed him and grew him for 9 months. I learned his movements and his heart rate. I saw him more times than my own babies. This little guy became my buddy. We hung out together.
My heart is and forever will be a mother to 5 babies, not just my 4.
I love you sweet coconut

34 weeks and 2 hospital visits

We made it another week, which is fantastic. But let me share with you the adventures of this very week.

So it started out with a threat of severe winter weather. I wasn't to worried about it in the beginning. I had a NST appt set for early Thursday morning. Should be no problem since the storm was not due to arrive until lunchtime. So I mentally prepare myself and try to relax when I arrive at the office. Once in the chair and all strapped up and the test could begin. Coconut seemed a bit sleepy and was not bouncing around too terribly much. So we sit through the first 20 minutes and he was not reacting appropriately. They give me another 20 minutes and same thing. After this they tell me I need to eat some candy, so M&M's were consumed to get him to "wake up". This did not work either. Doc came in after another 20 minutes of monitoring and said I must go over to the hospital as I failed this NST. Click this link to read more about these tests.  At the hospital they would continue to monitor me and do a BPP, Bio Physical Profile of the baby. Click this link to understand a BPP. So I was hooked up to the monitor and watched for another hour. Still not spiking the 15bpm/ for 15 secs. So the BPP was ordered and I was wheeled back to the radiology dept for the test. We scored perfect on that test and everything looked great. He even stuck his tongue out at us on the monitor. Silly Coconut. After this the sleet began to fall and my phone was almost dead. I was frustrated as I was all alone. Zeus was released from work at 11am due to the deteriorating weather conditions. Thankfully his Boss, J.D. was willing to drive him up to the hospital. After more monitoring and back and forth phone calls with my Doctor at the office and the nurse attending to me we were released after 1:30pm. The sleet was now over 2 1/2 inches thick and it was sticking to everything. Thankfully I did not have to drive home alone as I felt run over by a bus. I was frustrated and upset that things just are getting complicated now. So we drove less than 30mph home which took well over an hour with us stopping to clean off windshield wipers that became encased in ice and rendered them useless. What a mess. Thankfully we made it home safely and would not need to go back until Monday.

Then came Monday. The In-laws had arrived on Friday after a long 24 hr delay from the weather so my Mother-in-Law asked to join me at the doctors office. That was really nice so I did not have to go it alone. Basically same thing happened as Thursday just without the weather. Failed NST. Forced to eat candy. Sent to hospital. Another NST, another BPP. More phone calls to office and lots of answering questions. Then we were determined to go home that baby once again looked and seemed to be doing just fine. It was much better to have someone to talk to that's for sure. We were then told that I would probably go from being seen twice a week to three times a week after I had a Cord Doppler exam and another NST on Wednesday. Click this link for Cord Doppler explanation.

So now we wait until Wednesday to see what the next step is and where we go from here. Oh, and coconut is still breach so we are looking at a turning procedure next week as well. What fun that will be.

Here's a Youtube video of that turning procedure they will be doing next week. Yeah, looks painful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wj3RMqoZnC8


So what was to be an amazing journey is turning into quite the job. Its frustrating at best these days. I just want everything to be fine, normal and go smoothly. I must remember God is still in control. I ask that all of you add us to the prayer list. Prayer that baby will turn and be head down, pray that labor can be preformed naturally, pray that parents will not panic and be OK with whatever needs to be done. Please pray for all the doctors for wisdom. I thank you for following this journey and I'll continue to keep you all up to date.

Blessings Bloggie Buddies

32 weeks and counting.....

Today was a fairly lengthy and wild doctor appt. I had a feelin going in that it could be a bit different. Thankfully I was able to talk Zeus into going in with me since he did have the day off.

We were told as soon as we arrived that Doctor was called to hospital for emergency C section and would be awhile. Luckily for me there are 2 doctors and 2 midwives so we opted to see the midwife instead of waiting hours.

Blood pressure measured normal, which was good news. Fundal height is measuring exactly at 32 weeks. Coconuts heart rate was measured at 141, perfect for this stage in the game. I lost a pound which was no problem either. Then it was time to start my NST, non stress test used to measure baby's movements with heart rate. So they strapped me down with two monitors, one to measure heart rate and the other to measure contractions. We needed 2, 15 bpm spike within 20mims. Today I had the 15bpm spike but not within 20 mins so they left me on the monitor longer to get the spikes but they didn't come in timely fashion. So I was whisked off to the ultrasound room so they could measure 4 other things. They needed to see "practice breathing" basically just his little lungs moving up and down. This one was imperative. We got it within the first 20 secs of ultrasound. Then we needed to check 4 areas for normal fluid levels. All areas looked great. Then we needed to see baby move. Got it, he's a busy bee so this was no problem. Then we needed to look at his heart for good beating and all looked great. So that ended up only taking about 5-7 minutes.

Now we go in every 4 days for follow up NST tests. Then once a week regular OB exams. So from here on out it's gonna get wickedly busy. Thankfully Zeus is home from Afghanistan and should be able to help me manage all the kids appts and activities.

It was a good appointment today.

Houston, We are go for launch

Yes, folks today I had the defining ultrasound and bloodwork determining whether our timeline would stay or change. I had to have a minimum lining thickness of 8mm and mine was 15mm. Then I had to have a 120 of estrogen and 2 of progesterone. All were within the limits. We will have liftoff on 16 July @ 1pm.

Apollo and Athena are on a camping trip so they are out of communication, so hopefully they will be able to check email sooner or later and see the gret news.

Our family will head for their home state this weekend making a few stops along the way before reaching our destination of Zeus' hometown late week.

Continue your loving prayers for our safe travels and a problem free take-off as we attempt a journey no family member has tried before.

Houston, We are go for launch, countdown please.

Day 1, and we are off and running or stabbing

Well silent readers, today is the day that the 4 of us have looked forward to for a long time. The day meds were started. I've really avoided the topic most the day other than when my dear Mother in Law called to check and see how it went. But I didn't have much to share with her, since I'm waiting til evening time to take the meds. Now I do.

Are you guys all wondering how it went? I bet you are. But I have something I want to ask of each of you, first.

 I really do look forward to hearing from or reading your thoughts. So please leave me comments at the bottom of each blog topic. I have no idea who's following my story and I shouldn't worry about it but it is nice to know your thoughts too.

So tonight I was rather freaked out when I got all the papers, materials, needles, boxes and etc. all laid out. I must say I have never really been fully interested in all this medical stuff. So I never have paid attention when someone drew medicine from a vial into a needle. Why the heck would I need to know that? That was dumb, because today I needed to know how to do that.

While all the babies were watching movies in their rooms I prepared myself for this medical procedure. Zeus is out of town for the week so I could not rely on him to do it for me. I had to gain the strength to do this myself. Glory to God for this strength.

So here is the medicine, needle and the alcohol to clean both the meds and my tummy.

Cap off now and ready to wipe clean with the alcohol

Now the needle is ready to dispense the medicine

All set, Now to clean my tummy with the alcohol

Here I go, giving  myself the very first injection of this journey, my first surrogacy journey.

OUCH, Holy Toledo that hurt. I have no clue what people say that doesn't hurt. YIKES. The best part is that I did not get dizzy, no lightheadedness, no tummy ache. That is the first time ever for me. However I think I sweat for about 30 minutes afterwards.

Now, I have never taken hormones other than a few weeks of birth control pills. So, I have no idea how my body or mind will react to this medication. Should Zeus and the babies be scared, I don't know. I just hope that the daily injections don't make me go haywire. I'll apologize in advance for any wild emotional behavior. Just blame it on the medication.

Today I made it. I did something I never thought I'd ever be able to do. I gave myself the first injection of medication. I am now one more day closer to the goal of a pregnancy.

Say a little prayer that tomorrows injection goes as well as today. Say a prayer that my HP's hearts will be opened to the vulnerabilities that we parents experience through this journey. Say a prayer that Zeus travels safely home after his week in Ohio. Say a prayer that I will not have negative reactions to the medication. Leave me a comment!!!

Blessings and we are off and running or stabbing.

The Ball Continues to Roll

Its been rollin' for awhile but with every new step we take it feels closer and closer that reality will have me pregnant by summer's end. Yesterday I got several test results on myself and everything was negative or normal. That was wonderful. You don't realize how many puzzle pieces have to come together to create a baby. But thankfully physically I am clean, clear, and signed off to carry a bundle or bundles of joy.

 Today the good news kept coming. Donor is clean and clear and she is set to give us some eggs in late June. So that leaves me to nail down a few dates for my travel to Pacific Northwest. We are scheduled to talk with the Doc later this week to determine what is a good date for us to complete the transfer. Its amazing how its coming together. Still not looking forward to the fast approaching date to begin daily injections. I think Zeus is secretly smiling thinking of the fact that he gets to stab me daily. For a reason of course.

 Later this week we are also scheduled to sign and complete the legal agreement as well. That has been an on going work in progress but it looks really close now.

 So there are still many steps yet to do but each one feels great when we turn around and look back and see all the steps we have taken. Right now, My brain feels like I am living a dream. Time is moving ever so slow and the details are fading or have become less important. I'm not sure how to explain it, it just feels different almost like an out of body experience, sort of. I know Athena and I both wish we could wave a wand and poof I am in the eighth month, hahahaha. Its not that easy. But it is so comforting that my HP's are so comfortable with me. I love being able to chat on the phone, text silly pictures together or just talk life. Apollo and Athena already feel like siblings, friends or long lost cousins. They are so excited and I love hearing and experiencing that excitement with them.
 So I ask all you wonderful readers to continue praying for smooth ride to the finish line as we near the starting tape. The ball rolls and it rolls further and further each day.

God, I'm Listening this time

Welcome to my new blog friends!

Today I begin sharing the journey I've been walking about 2 months now. Let me go back and share from the beginning.

About 2 months ago, early April to be exact Zeus, my husband, received an email that will forever change our lives. The email was an adoption update from a long time friend of Zeus. The email asked where we were in our lives and if I was still interested in becoming a surrogate. This jump back a bit and I'll fill you in a little more.

 Most people know that I've had surrogacy on my mind for over 4 years now. But I never had much motivation to find someone and when I did those people were not interested or had something else going on in there life. But as time has gone by God has continued to put little clues out there reminding me that he wanted me to do this. Several times I ignored him or I just brushed him aside. Not this time. I decided to listen. I see the signs, I hear the voice and now I have chosen to walk the walk, one step at a time. Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot.

So Zeus replied to the email and shared that he felt we needed to talk "face to face" via skype. We set a time up that worked for both families. During the passing days Zeus and I talked through every aspect of the process. Feelings, cost, sacrifices, family support, intentions, effects on our children and every other thing you can think of when jumping into a serious situation. The day came for our skype and the both of us were nervous wrecks. We had never met the wife before. Sure we researched every piece and lead we could find about this couple. Google can really be your best friend if you just use it. We weren't sure how this "meeting" was going to go. But we left it in Gods hands. Through fear and loads of sweat we sat on the couch side by side in support of each other.The meeting ended up with us saying YES. Yes, we were willing to begin the surrogacy process and see how far it would take us. Yes, we wanted to help a couple have their own family. Yes, we were willing to share our time with another family. Yes, if we were faced with the same terrible news we would want someone to do the same thing for us. Plain and simple.

So there it was. We had just listened to God and we felt relieved but we were more scared than anything. I couldn't stop thinking of all the things that could come up along the way. But I put my focus on the positive, faith in the Lord and I made 2 phone calls. The first to my Mom and the second to Zeus' Mom. We wanted to run it by them, ask their opinion and let them know we needed their support, 100%. Both Moms were 100% for our decision. Whew! What a huge relief. That support was worth no amount of money. I cried, I'll be honest. It was emotional. At that point we knew God was in control and would guide us through this process every. single. step.

So there you have it. By the Grace of God and the love in our hearts we have begun the long, bumpy, fulfilling journey of Surrogacy aka Gestational Carrier.

Step inside and follow us along on the journey of extreme emotions on this amazing, God controlled, roller coaster.

 I'm not the Momma, just the belly!!!!