Wednesday, March 20, 2013

2 weeks postpartum

Hello my dearest friends and family-
Today marks the 2 week anniversary of the birth of my very first surro baby. Can y'all believe its been that long? I can't. Coconut seems to have settled in well to his home is Seattle. He is getting daily visitors and has become quite the superstar these days. Athena had to create a visitor sign up already to avoid too many at a time. Apollo is back to work and Charlie Mae is the perfect guard dog.

I'm grateful to be included in pictures and small updates here and there. I hope this continues.

Today I'm still moving slowly and thankful that Zeus is still home for a few more days. He has been a wonderful help to me. Although every time I come to the living room he has rearranged another piece of furniture or added another piece of furniture, it's rather annoying.

I'm working on finishing all the details so that I can begin shipping breast milk to the preemie bank. It's amazing how much milk I'm pumping. We are talking about 50oz a day. I'm pumping every 3-4 hours and going through milk bags like crazy. We plan to pump for several months and donate to the bank for preemie babies born smaller than 3 pounds in NICUs across the country. I'm thrilled I can help other families. Our freezer looks like a milk depot itself. It's a whole lot of milk. I teased Ryan and the kids that when I'm back to cooking to look out I might use breast milk! They didn't think it was funny, but I sure did.

I've lost 25 pounds since giving birth with many more to lose. I am back below the 200 mark and that feels great. My blood pressure has completely normalized as well. I'm glad of that. So no more beta blocker for me, yeah!!! I'm down to minimal medication with little pain meds as well. My incision is looking pretty good. Most of the glue has come off and it's healing well. I measured it recently and it was 7.5 inches long. Quite the opening if you ask me. It's still very sore, my stomach itself has some physical bruising and it is very tender to the touch. It is painful to wear pants or anything touch the skin below my belly button for more than a few minutes. So that has limited my clothing options. Thankfully I've been home most the time so I can wear nightgowns, summer dresses or tshirts and be comfortable. I'm gonna attempt to lay on my side in bed tonight, we shall see how long I can stand the pain and uneasiness.

My mental well being is improving daily. I can say his name and not cry. However I'm still emotional and miss him and his little kicks and seeing him on the ultrasound weekly. I miss my growing belly. It's still hard to believe I'm not pregnant any longer. I'm keeping busy with plans for our upcoming move and trying to locate a house. I should be able to drive on Monday and that should help too. I only have 2 vases of flowers still alive from all the beautiful arrangements sent. They are special. I just love fresh flowers and have been lucky to have them here since valentines day. Although these will be gone soon :(

God is alive and guiding me through this emotional time. I pray a lot. If I'm by myself I'm probably praying. I haven't been on the phone much because I'm still trying to get myself together. I'm sorry if I haven't called you or visited, but I'm still recovering. I'd rather talk to God right now so I hope y'all can understand. It shouldn't be too much longer but time will only tell. I'm kinda in seclusion and I like it that way for now. I'll want visitors soon I'm sure. But it just takes time

I got coconuts diaper cake finished today and have a few things to put together before I mail him his first of many boxes from us. I never imagined having these feelings for another child, let alone one that wasn't mine. However, I carried him like he was my own, actually I was more cautious with him than my own. So he'll forever be my baby, just my surro baby.

I appreciate all the prayers y'all have given and continue to give. They are so helpful and have been amazing. I appreciate all the cards and love and kindness you all have shown me as well and I hope that never stops. Through this journey I've learned so much more about so many of you. I've grown close to many and felt great love from y'all as well. Although the pregnancy has ended this journey is not over. It will never end. I hope you'll continue to read my story as we watch this guy grow. Thank you again and God bless you all!!!

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