Wednesday, December 19, 2012

25 weeks

WOW, its amazing to think we have made it to the 25 week mark. Mr.Coconut is really putting on the weight and his strength has gotten out of control. He is still in a breech like position so all the movement is way down low. My kids aren't patient enough to sit still to long enough to feel him kick. Zeus feels him because we are usually awake when Coconuts at it. This week he has started his 3am active moments. These have been waking up this pregnant momma. So I'm so tired during the day. Its awful. I want to do so much but can't seem to get enough energy. I have woken up to a few charlie horses this past week. The first one was horrid. A clamped calf muscle. I woke up screaming, tears rolling in terrible pain. I think I freaked Zeus out, but he managed to help me get it to release. I had 3 in the bottoms of my feet. Those I was able to catch before they fully clamped down. But anytime I point my toes to put on pantyhose or a shoe my feet try to clamp. Thankfully I can catch them first. One other night I woke to my Quad trying to cramp up. I jumped out of bed and started walking, saving myself from awful pain and allowing Zeus to continue sleeping. Its frustrating. Also, I have been having my hips catch and get stuck. Yeah, I look like a crazy person when they catch. Its part of pregnancy but not one of my favorites. But someday this will all be worth it for a family.

I did go to the doctor last week and my belly is measuring right on time. Weight gain is normal. BP is finally stabilized. Things are looking good. So I do not go back until the middle of next month. Woo Hoo.

A major milestone this week is that we have reached survivability. If something tragic were to happen to me then Coconut with a lot of help from doctors could make it. This is huge for his parents.

I must say this week has been rather amazing and full of surprises. I have gotten several amazing, yet thoughtful gifts from Coconuts family. Definitely not expected but so appreciated. Little gifts of love like this really make me feel special. They make me feel like what I am doing is meaningful to others. So wonderful.

Thank you to everyone for all your continued thoughts and prayers. I'll update you all again soon.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Mr Coconuts first Santa picture

Today my family had breakfast with Santa at the youth center on base. It was super yummy. We played games and had lots of fun. We thought it'd be fun to share Coconuts growth progress. Didn't want to leave him out. I have been slacking in belly photos, so here's a special one.

22 1/2 weeks along.
Lots of headaches
Strong kicks
Growing belly
Hypertension controlled

Just a few highlights of this pregnancy. Things are moving along quite nicely. So glad it's christmas time, I LOVE this time of year.

Blessings Bloggie buddies

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

22 weeks

Thankfully bloggie buddies we made it to 22 weeks. Each day seems different from the last. I've been on the beta blocker meds for 2 weeks now, continually checking my blood pressure and they seem to have it regulated. However I have a side effect that is pretty nasty. The biggest is the dull, lingering headaches. They stink. I've never gotten many headaches in my life and these are manageable just not enjoyable and really make me rather irritable, ask Zeus. I'm overly tired all day too. So I go back to the doctor tomorrow to check make sure BP is still good, which I know since Zeus bought me this nifty little machine/monitor.

I'm doing pretty good other than that. Mr. Coconut is getting stronger by the day and really is starting to kick me or punch me in the bladder. It's crazy cause Ill walk out of the bathroom only to return minutes later. Him being breech makes those kicks much lower. It's different then my four babies were. Hopefully within the next 2 months he'll turn himself around.

I'm looking forward to the holidays, are you guys. It exciting since my brothers wife, my sister, is expecting a little girl 4 weeks before me and Zeus' brothers wife is expecting 2 days before me as well. We have several expecting cousins and 6 friends all pregnant right now. It's a bit crazy. But makes me smile. I do love babies. I'm hoping with 2 sisters expecting it'll lessen the blow of the official birth and handover. But we'll see.

Blessings to all you wonderful readers. I ask your continued prayers for a healthy pregnancy and for doctor to keep me off of bed rest. Thanks friends.


Thursday, November 15, 2012

We made it to 20 wks

This morning the HPs made it into town safely. They came by and picked me up and off to lunch we went. We met Zeus at lunch since he had pressing work issues this morning (cough). Then it was off to the big ultrasound. I was so very nervous going in. I was hoping everything looked normal and that no major issues would be discovered. I Laid down and she checked my cervix and the sonographer noticed my bladder was too full, go figure. Back to the bathroom to empty. I wasn't complaining. I managed to get back on the table and the rest of the ultrasound went very well. Lots of tossing and tumbling for the little coconut.  My HPs decided this morning that they wanted to find out the gender. You know me, I was thrilled. I thought the baby was a girl because the kicks have lightened and I'm smaller in front than normal. But what's normal, right? So we found out I'm carrying a little BOY. It's so exciting. I'm glad they found out, it sure did make it real. And knowing the gender will help me through the labor and delivery mentally. I will be prepared for all those  things carrying a boy brings to me. Now, the kicks are light because my placenta is top sided making a barrier between the baby and my belly. Like a giant pillow. Makes perfect sense. Nice to know all the details though. Coconut weighs about 11oz. today with a 146bpm heartbeat and very lively and active. So much so it was tough to get a few pictures of those little feet. We even watched a complete somersault.

Now to the Momma here. I've now been diagnosed with gestational hypertension. Yuck, but it should be regulated by meds. Basically high blood pressure. It shouldn't be a huge deal, just another pill, eh? I'm doing well with weight gain.  So overall today's appt was fantastic news.

We enjoyed a nice celebratory dinner with my HPs and picked their brain for baby names and other fun ideas they have in mind. I'll go to bed today thankful to God for positive news. I'm thankful for HPs that are grateful for me and this gift. I'm thankful for a supportive extended family. Today I thank God for so many things.

I ask you to keep us in your prayers for continued health for both coconut and I

Blessings to all of you

Wednesday, November 14, 2012


So I'm really nervous about tomorrow. Coconuts parents arrived in the city tonight and we will meet up with them tomorrow for lunch. Then we head off to the ultrasound appt for their first look at coconut. Then dinner at Olive Garden. I'm hoping all goes well and my nerves settle down.
Wish me luck and say a prayer it goes well.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

16 week checkup

This week was my week to go to the doctor. So yesterday I got showered, dressed and headed out the door informing my Nana to expect the kids off the bus at regular time. I drove the 22 miles to the doctor with 10 minutes to spare. I was so excited that I was early. With Zeus it is always the last minute, since he's out of the country it was all me. I walked in and signed in and they asked who I was seeing. The nurse could not find me in the system. The nurse did some more searching and found my appt, only it was not now. It would be tomorrow. Seriously, I came an entire day early. OH boy.
Back home I went.

Fast forward to today, Thursday, the correct day for the appt. Back to the doctor I go. This time I was early again and all set. I saw the doctor. It was good. Her hair looked great today. She had this beautiful scarf around her hair, super cute. Anyways, we went through all the questions about birth history and yada, yada, yada. She was pleased with my weight gain, saying not too much but not too little. Excellent. I was pleased too. It was a low number that made me smile. Then it was time for testing. Strip down, sorry Zeus, hop on the table and proceed to slide. hahaha, I'll stop there.
I was tested for STD's (Normal testing), yeast infection, and a Pap (a woman's favorite test).

Then it was time to listen to Coconut. Yep, still pregnant. Heart rate at 140. Perfect.
Blood work was drawn for vitamin deficiency and the final part of the sequential screening.

All is well. I will be starting more meds, Stop laughing, its not funny. OK, so maybe it is but I've convinced myself this whole pregnancy will be about taking meds. Yeast infections, not cool. This is the second one this pregnancy. I had lots of them with my own children's pregnancies. Pretty much used to it. Doctor also noticed another small bleed due to the infection, nothing to worry anyone about or to take precautions. It is normal with these type infections. Just jeez whiz so I or someone else doesn't freak if they notice. It's par for the course these days.

So things are going well. My Nana is here for a few days while Zeus is away. It is nice not to be alone with the kids. So next appt is the big ultrasound. Coconuts Mom and Dad are flying in for that one just for the day. Most likely they will not want to know what the sex is so I probably won't know either. Bummer, oh well.

Again I say thank you for all the praying friends and family out there. We are pushing through, again, one day at a time. Life is moving beautifully. Thanks everyone. I look forward to more fun into the holiday season.


Thursday, October 11, 2012

First time for everything

We made it to 15 weeks, can y'all believe it? I sure can't.

Because of the number of pregnancies and bed rest and my inability to exercise due to high risk I'm getting a bigger belly than I'd expected. So it was time to get some maternity clothes especially pants since none of mine fit. That's embarrassing. Anyways I needed to purchase some warm clothes since summer has passed and winter is approaching. I've been wearing the new stuff the last few days but crazy pregnant brain has set in and I've been caught twice wearing tags in public. Go ahead and laugh, Zeus did and he let me wear a tag all day before sharing with me before bedtime. That monster. Anyways it's funny I guess.

Each day coconuts kicks and punches get harder and harder. Last night after the kids went to bed coconut was practicing gymnastics. So I called Zeus over to see if he could feel it. Amazingly enough he was!! It was kinda fun watching him try to figure out what was happening. This is an active lil baby.

It was fun to finally be able to share it with someone. There's a first time for everything.

Blessings Bloggie Buddies

Sunday, October 7, 2012

National News

The news is my favorite thing to read, watch and search. Most of my close friends and family can tell you that I am a little obsessed with knowing what happens in the world around me. That can be good and bad these days.

But this week it just so happens to be a good thing. Like most mornings, I turn on the Today Show to see what is happening while browsing the web news sites. It just so happens that the Today Show covered Surrogacy in a very positive segment this week. Most magazine articles, TV shows and news stories show a more negative side of surrogacy. I was pleased to see the positive segment.

Here is the link if you would like to watch the segment. It is interesting to see what others think and how it is viewed. I am glad that it is finally not such a Taboo subject anymore. Its important that people have options. I'm thankful for those willing to stand up for these way to parenthood.
I wouldn't mind doing a news story at some point about the process, the support, the love and the reason why I chose this route.

I thank you all for reading and continuing to follow me.

I'm in my 14th week and each day is different. Some days I crave fish, others its cranberries, some its bell peppers, rice. Each day it changes. The nausea is still around but it minor. As long as I've got something in my belly I'm usually OK. I really have to watch what I eat and how much of it. I have indigestion that horrid and heartburn when I eat too much spice. The belly gets bigger by the day and I'm officially in maternity clothes. I was able to buy a maternity coat this past week so that the winter days are not miserable.

I had to sit my babies down the other night and try to understand the significance of this pregnancy and the consequences of their actions around me. It was not fun but needed since I have 3 rambunctious boys. I was sad watching them cry when I explained the consequences. I hadn't envisioned the need to explain all this to them but they can't understand completely the importance of this sacrifice. They just want Mommy but Mommy has to be very careful since we are so High Risk. Being a surrogate, you never understand what your own kids might feel, go through or imagine. I now know mine still have not grasped this completely even the oldest. It's huge. So I ask you pray for my babies to accept this sacrifice and that Zeus and I find a way to make them feel special and a part of this process. Tough Time.

I ask for continued prayers for coconut, myself, Zeus and the HP's. Blessings to all of you. Glory to God that we made it another week.


Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Pills, pills, pills

All I can do is laugh right now. You know the phrase it's better to laugh than cry. Yeah, we'll that's the route I'm taking, laughing.

This morning I was talking to Gma and telling her how excited I was to finally be done with pills. I just got done taking 2 sets of meds for some infections I'd acquired. I was thrilled for about 15 mins. The phone rang while I was still talking to her. It was the doctor. Usually not a good sign if it was unwarranted. I asked what was up, you know trying not to seem worried. She let me know blood work was back and I'm in need of more medication. Hahaha, I know it's not funny but kinda it is. So my vitamin D levels are severely low. Surprised, absolutely not. I just spent almost 7 weeks on bed rest. So I was not hanging out in the sun like my normal days might allow. So I have 8 more weeks of meds.

It's amazing how different this pregnancy is from my last 4. But I'm working really hard to make a couple a family so if I must continue swallowing pills, then let the swallowing begin.

Say a prayer for no major reactions or symptoms. Say a prayer for my appt. coming up to go well and that progress continues.

Thanks friends for your following and interest in my journey, it humbling.
Blessings bloggie buddies

Sunday, September 23, 2012

12 week doctor appt

Friday was a scary yet anxious day. I was headed back to the doctor to find out if things had actually settled down or it was just a tease. Zeus got half the day off so he decided he would go with me. Don't quite understand why he would not but that's Zeus for ya.

 So we go in and they had scheduled an ultrasound as part of the Sequential screening. So we go in and it was a beautiful room with lots of space. Could be neat if our HP's ever get to come out. But Zeus was a nice guy and took a few pictures and videos to share with everyone. The sonographer was so wonderful, she even made us a CD with pictures to share. Totally didn't have to.

It was fun to see the difference from the last ultrasound 3 weeks ago to today's. We have a completely formed baby growing right on schedule. It was fun to see. Very different when it is not yours but still amazing that coconut is in my belly. Lots of emotions, but not the normal emotions. I can't explain it.

Isn't that amazing. you can clearly see coconuts nose, chin, a belly and a little foot. Coconut's heartbeat is 171 and growing right on schedule. This is great news. Made me relax a little more.

Then it was time to see the doctor. Still a nervous wreck. Doctor was pleased with everything she saw. She did say that I will remain High Risk and will need to be monitored more closely than a normal pregnancy. I was OK with that. Then she said however you are released from bed rest. I smiled big and told her she made my day. Then she said she'd see me back in 4 weeks. Excellent news all around.

I headed off to the lab where I had about 11 vials of blood drawn. It was quite crazy to be honest, I was glad that I ate something just before the appointment.

What a great relief it was to think I was a free woman this weekend. I have never been to jail but I'd think jail had to be close to what it felt like to be closed up in my house for 6 weeks. Yuck, truly do not wish this on anyone else. So what's a free woman do? Well go for a slush at Sonic and then shopping at Walmart, of course. It really felt foreign to me. I wasn't sure what to do first.

Saturday we had soccer games, then got to go out to dinner with my family (first time in 8 weeks), then took the kids to let them ride go karts and hits some balls are the batting cages, and finally a stop by Garden Ridge for some much needed artificial flowers to spruce my boring house up. It has been a fantastic weekend.

I'm still very tired but I think that comes with being pregnant. I'll just have to take it slow for the next 6 months but at least I have earned some much needed freedom.

Thank you all for the continued prayers of support. I know God is good and he is in control. This is his plan. your prayers are always welcomed and have proven to be life savers. Thank y'all so much for caring about me and my desire to take this journey. As hard and as emotional as it has been I know God is carrying me. I am blessed and I thank you all with all my heart.

God Bless all my wonderful Bloggie Buddies.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Special days

Lately life had gotten rather boring, but do you blame me. I mean seriously, lay in bed, lay on couch, go pee and repeat. That had become the existence of my life. Luckily I was authorized last week to attend my precious children's soccer games provided I was not actively bleeding.

Saturday, All four of my babies had games. I woke up early to help make sure everyone was eating and had all their shin guards and matching socks for their uniforms. First thing as I walk to the couch my Omega says, Mom are you bleeding? Was this really coming out of the mouth of my 10 yr old. He just asked if I was bleeding. Ummm, not your normal first question of the day. I answered, NO, will all the speed he could acquire in 20 feet he dashed at me to give me the biggest hug and say, That means you can come to our games. I smiled so big. A tear came to my eye, as I had made his day. Inside I felt panic. I didn't ever want to be the absent parent but for the last 4 weeks I had been. Especially in my babies eyes. This made me question myself and my intentions to help someone else. For just a minute. Then I realized, I was giving them the opportunity to feel the same way I did at that very moment.

Saturday turned out to be an incredible day. I got to see goals scoreed, soccer balls head butted, and 4 sweet babies running in the wind loving life. What more could a Mommy ask for? But Zeus had more in mind. He had dreamed up a mystery dinner. He wanted to have people over to give me something to smile and laugh about. It was a great idea. I was able to have friends over and have something to chat about other than the negatives of life. It truly was fun to see all the fun costumes and here the funny voices of the characters. It was perfect.

I'm still battling nausea, some days the toilet gets lots of love. Not my favorite symptom I've ever experienced and never giving love to a toilet. But, the bleeding has slowed and has disappeared on many days. That has been wonderful at times.

I have gotten a few cards in the mail that have added to the smiles and my neighbors have decided to come visit me. It has been helpful.

Pray is awesome and I ask that you continue to pray. Friday we find out if I shall be released from the bed rest. Prayers from you all I must say have been a blessings and I'm thankful.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

The Little Train That Could

Hey Guys hows yall's holiday weekend? Mine, well let me just share with you.

So Thursday, Friday were complete blood free and cramp free days. It was wonderful. I was feeling really good and was really looking forward to my doctors visit on Wednesday. I thought If I went in with several solid "normal" days she would release me from this awful Bed rest/ Pelvic rest. Friday, Zeus spent almost his entire day cleaning our house. He worked so hard to vacuum, steam the floors, scrub the kitchen, grocery shop, sort and start the laundry. I mean he was moving. It was awesome. He's a keeper. I love him. Don't get any bright ideas, I'm not sharing ladies.

Saturday I woke up feeling really good. Again another "normal" day. Things had really been looking up. I was feeling good and my appetite had finally returned. I was actually able to down a glass of milk. Woo Hoo. That has been many weeks since I have been able to do that. So the day was a rainy day as Isaac arrived helping our extreme drought situation a bit. We watched movies and hung out as a family, helped Omega with some extra credit homework and some trumpet playing. It was fun. Even from the couch. Zeus was researching brain puzzles so we turned the TV off and spent 2 hours as a family solving brain puzzles. That was fun and the kids really enjoyed trying to figure out some of the puzzles or should I say trying to beat Mommy and Daddy with the puzzles. They did really well.

While lying on the couch I felt something weird and then smelt something even weirder. I was on the phone with a friend at the time so I ran to the bathroom, yes still on the phone. I do this often, don't be surprised. I promise I'll mute myself so you can't hear me. Nevertheless this time wasn't good, I needed new underwear and had to jump off the phone quickly. After having Zero and Zeus help clean me up I was back to bleeding and cramping. Another huge bummer. In hate ruining underwear, Don't you? Now I was worried what the Doctor would say or if she would release me I, if I was bleeding just a few days before her visit. So the rest of the night I lay still as I can be to avoid any extra pain other than what I was already dealing with. It was mild-medium cramping, kinda like something you would experience during menstrual cycle. Thankfully, Zeus got me some tylenol to dull the pain as much as I could. I can't explain it. No reason why this is happening. No idea what is causing it. No idea when or if it will ever stop.

Its been 3 weeks now. Yes, seriously I have been in this house for 3 weeks. This is crazy. I'm beyond frustrated at this point. Wishing that one day real soon I can return to my family. I know my children are fed up with me being "lazy" and I know they don't completely understand why I have to lay here when I "look" fine. I know they miss having Mommy to do things for them. Daddy tries, but can not do things like Mommy. I'm feeling terribly guilty for my babies. This was suppose to be happy times. But they are not happy with Mommy down all day. I'm feeling a bit defeated.

Yall's love and support has been so helpful. The sweet notes, messages and surprise packages really help me put on my "happy face". Thank you all for the love and prayers. You are wonderful friends and I'm glad you are each in my life. Wouldn't be who I am today without the majority of you. I'm remembering that special little book and with yall's help this little train that could will get through this someday.

Blessings to all of you and please continue to ask God to watch over us. This is his will and I pray that the lessons he is teaching are being learned by all those that he is reaching out to. I love my God and I praise him through this rocky road up the mighty hill. I know he's pushing me up the hill.

Love Love Love

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Lots on my mind

Today my head is swirling. First off lets deal with the medical issues. I am back to bleeding after a short break. It's not too bad and seems to get better as the day goes by. I'm OK. I'm not better. I'm not happy. I'm just OK. I enjoy being able to share with all of you how this process is going. I appreciate all the positive comments, suggestions, and good prayers and thoughts.

But please, I do not need any negative remarks during this rough time of my pregnancy. If you don't like what I am doing or saying then please I ask you to stop reading and remove yourself from my page. I had to make this invite only due to the negative views and comments. This journey is meant to be positive. Its suppose to open peoples eyes to the world of infertility and the positive changes made within the medical community that allow infertile parents the opportunity to have biological children. I'm frustrated, I'll be honest. Today was a rough day on the emotional side. I'm thankful for family support and close friend support.


Surrogacy comes with a lot of sacrifices on both sides. But because I am a surrogate I will share my sacrifices so that if you are thinking of starting your own journey you are fully aware of what you are getting yourself into. Many don't.
1. Medical testing, numerous needle sticks, numerous trans vaginal ultrasounds. Lots and lots of blood testing, drug testing, STD testing.
2. The loss of family events and normal life. If on bed rest you will forfeit your normal life to follow doctors orders.
3. Tons and tons of questioning by Intended Parents. Some very negative and personal.
4. Subject to psychological exam for both the surrogate and her spouse.
5. Possible sour of relationship of Intended Parents and the Surrogate/Spouse.
6. Loss of sexual relationship. You are subject to being told not to involve yourself sexually with your spouse for many things. Prior to the Transfer there is up to a 2 week time of abstinence. For 3 days after the transfer. And when placed on Bed Rest and/or Pelvic rest which could last months. This is important to understand when walking this journey. It can really affect a marital relationship.
7. You subject your family to negative comments, opinions and frustrating conversations with people with negative perspectives.
8. Loads, and I mean loads of shots. Shots in the stomach, shots in the butt, shots in the arms. Ridiculous amounts of shots. In the hundreds. Many which hurt like nothing you've experienced.
9. Strict medication calendar that will affect mood swings.
10. You will need a lawyer whom you trust that works with surrogacy arrangements.
11. You agree not to travel for significant amounts of time during the pregnancy.
12. You agree to risk your life for a family to have a baby.
13. You sacrifice time with family to endure possible hospitalizations.
14. The need for a huge life insurance policy.
15. Health insurance that covers surrogacy. This can be tricky to find.

I could go on and on about the sacrifices. I have given up so much to get to 9 weeks of pregnancy.


My heart throughout this process was to give a family a child and receive 0, ZERO compensation. That's right folks, unlike the majority of surrogate's that receive thousands of dollars. I have chosen to give a family a baby for nothing. That's love. That's kindness. That's what listening to God accomplished. Sometimes people tell me I'm insane. Well, maybe I am and sometimes I might think I am for doing this without required gifts, required monetary amounts, required events, tickets or anything else. The reason I push through and continue this journey is because God asked me to, so I'm following his lead. Its not easy and this pregnancy makes this terribly difficult to keep putting one foot in front of the other but I look at close friends and understand it's people like me that make many peoples dreams come true. I didn't have to do it free of charge. I was trying to be nice and help someone not pay an arm and a leg for a child. I do it out of the LOVE in my HEART.

I leave tonight with this, Prayer is needed severely. I need my prayer warriors praying for all parties involved. This baby is healthy as far as we know and I will try my hardest to hand over a full term, healthy child at the end of this journey. Please I beg of you to pray that God will place his hands on all of us and remind us what is being sacrificed and why we are doing this. Pray for the bigger picture. Thanks Buddies, I thank you for reading and following my journey.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

36 hours and counting.....

Can anybody guess what 36 hours and counting means? No ideas. Well I'll tell you.

Yesterday, which was my 32nd birthday I woke up first thing and being a pregnant woman we go straight to the bathroom. Don't stop to collect $200. I was pleasantly surprised to see I was blood free. I had to check 3 times to be sure. You know, because I could have been dreaming or something. Nope all three times were clean and clear. I wasn't dreaming, this baby, was real. I was cautiously optimistic since all three major episodes happened after a blood free pee. So after each bathroom visit I started telling Zeus, "2 pees no B", "3 pees no B". By the time I got to 10 I think he was getting agitated. I wasn't. I was so pleased. It was a great feeling. I was so glad that things were looking up.
So here we are 36 hours later and we are still B free. Woo Hoo, that is so wonderful. What a fantastic birthday present to have on your birthday.

 Today, the morning sickness is back with a vengeance. I guess it felt bad I was bleeding and cramping so it decided to lay off of its severity throughout the day most of the past week. Not today. Its raring its ugly head. Thankfully I've been able to fight back without any toilet trips. If its not one thing its something else during this interesting journey.

I must thank you to all of you who sent me text messages, facebook messages, phone calls and gifts wishing me a happy birthday. It is those simple things that really add sunshine to ones day. So again thank you. I love you all

Please continue to pray that I will soon be released from bed rest and pelvic rest. Please pray that coconut is doing alright. Pray for my many pregnant family and friends. Blessings Bloggie Buddies.

Friday, August 24, 2012

New Day Same Story

Anybody getting tired of sleeping? Yeah I'd imagine many of you would love to trade places with me for just a few days. Trade away. But really, let me just tell you I've reached the "I'm Done" with bed rest/pelvic rest. I've been down for 10 days and this stinks. I still have 10 more days. I missed awesome weather to be outside. I miss my flower beds, which are not being over taken by my Ivy since I'm no longer able to maintain it. I miss getting what I want to eat. The fun part of eating is browsing the pantry and fridge. I can't even do that. Seriously, what have I gotten myself into. Don't remind me.

Sooooo,  yesterday was turning out to be a great day. I felt great. I even showered and got dressed which only happens when I need to go to doctors. Being in the shower causing me to cramp pretty bad. But yesterday it was great. My bleeding had slowed and even once went to the bathroom and was blood free. I was thrilled. I told Zeus I think I'm getting better. He wasn't convinced. We crawl into bed and minutes after the lights went off I was feeling yucky AGAIN. I was not amused in the least bit. Got Zeus to help me out of bed and back to the bathroom. You have got to be kidding me. Another Bloody disaster. I must be living a royal nightmare. This is no longer funny. It was not enough for the doctor to be worried so back to bed when the cramps hit like a serrated knife sliding through my skin with an extra twist. This all started about 10:30pm and the pain lasted until 4am. NO JOKE. Today I was exhausted. Felt like I ran a marathon yesterday. I stayed in my bed until 11am because I did not have the energy or desire to get to the couch in the living room. I did end up moving to the couch. Luckily for me the blood loss throughout the day was minimal. Making me feel better that I was gonna make it. I have been lazy today. No shower, still in pajamas, no energy to get up.
So here I lay. Zeus has actually had a few  minutes to sit and hold me for a little while. Something that hasn't happened while he's been home. It was nice.

So tomorrow is my big special day. I'm bummed to be stuck to a bed or the couch. But that's what I signed up for. To carry a baby to term.

Please continue the prayers.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Check Up after ER visit

Today Zeus and I went in to see my regular OBGYN after our long night on Friday and rough morning on Saturday. The OB actually called to check up on us on Sunday. That was so nice. So today I started out with a little more bleeding. I'm not convinced it will ever stop at this point. But that's beside the point. I had a minor bit of cramping as well but nothing major that I could not just push through without meds. I mean come on I've given birth to four already. I can do this.

Its been a rough week emotionally and physically. I am so thankful you all take the time to read my story. It warms my heart so much. The biggest thing I take from this is the honesty from so many of you. So many have shared their own personal fertility, pregnancy or health secrets with me. That has made me feel so special and honored that you all felt I was worthy of telling such personal, emotional stories. I don't take that trust lightly. Thanks Friends. You all are inspiring.

Today at the Doctor after waiting over an hour to be seen. I'll forgive them this time since they were waiting on 31 pages of documents from the hospital. Finally in walks my doc, laptop and a stack of paperwork. She was prepared. We talked about the trials and statistics of pregnancy. Over 30% of pregnancies have a significant bleed during the pregnancy. WOW, big number. Funny how 0% of my 4 had this problem. But that's also higher when using IVF. She was pleased with the ultrasound results. Baby, Sac and Uterus look normal. She's thinking that the bleed could be coming from a small, 2mm, bleed within the amniotic sac located right beside the baby. It can bleed up to 20 weeks. OK, wait. I thought pregnancy was nice to not have to worry about staining clothes or wearing these ridiculous sanitary pads. Boy was I wrong. Its worse than a regular cycle. OK, so I understand this will be awhile. Doc says this is not a textbook pregnancy by any means and their is reason to be concerned but nothing she is overly worried about. Heartbeat was lower but within normal range (110-160bpm). OK that's good news. She didn't want or feel the need to check my cervix since my blood tests show rising HCG levels at normal limits. She did stress that I must remain on bed rest for another 2 weeks. STOP! You want me to lay in bed for 2 weeks, 14 days, 336 hours and 20, 160 minutes. Hold up. That means my 32 birthday in mere days will require me to be confined to a bed. YUCK. This is no bueno. But I understand its for the health and safety of sweet little, or I mean awnry little coconut.  Poo! I'll oblige. Not that I want to. Doc did say that I can move back and forth from the couch to the bed though. That was HUGE for me. Since my hips and knees are starting to ache from this FIRM bed. The couch sounds like heaven, I'll take it. If only it was on wheels so I could enjoy this gorgeous weather. Maybe Zeus is gonna have to start opening blinds and windows so I can enjoy the fresh summer air I miss.

Zeus has been amazing. No really, he has put up with my crying, moaning, complaining, anger and needy behaviour. He has gently rolled me out of bed several times a day and walked me to the bathroom. He has fed me. Made sure I was drinking plenty and made sure I had things to keep me busy. He has put my clothes on for me. He gave me a shower. He even picked out clean underwear. Yeah, I took his man card with that one. I call it being a responsible husband. He is awesome. I'm so thankful his Boss and his Air Force Unit have given him time off to help me. I'm most grateful.

So, if you want to chat, email or message me. You can find me here at my house attached to a bed or couch. I'm available the next 2 weeks. Lets make a date.

So we continue to wait, hope and pray that I will heal quickly and return to my family as a Momma and wife instead of a patient and nuisance. My kids start soccer games on the 8th of September. It's my goal to be at all 3 games.

Thanks God for your hand and blessing through this process. I give God the glory for my strength, patience, love and continued motivation to follow through to delivery.

Blessings to all you wonderful readers, I love you.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Friday night Fright

Today I lay in bed on continued bed rest. But let's go back a few days and fill y'all in. I was asked not to blog but after speaking with a few close persons I decided I can't not blog. This is my coping mechanism and also my way of telling my story first hand instead of it getting twisted when working its way through the chain of people. I'm sorry if I hurt feelings. With being so far away this is the best, and fastest way for everybody to know how I'm doing. With that said here we go.

Friday was a great day. I had only spotted throughout the day light pink
Which was a huge improvement. The commander and first shirt stopped by, bringing me flowers in the process, to check on us and see if there was anything they could do for us. It was wonderful. Not the best way to meet the new commander. I felt really good. I talked to mom on the phone but felt my tummy get queasy again. Went to the bathroom only to find a bloody mess. Seriously, angry now. Zeus was home and a few minutes later severe cramping set in, I mean screaming, moaning frightfully painful cramping. I knew it was another trip to the ER. Zeus called a friend to come watch the babies and off we went. I was feeling like death. We get right in at ER and they get me pain meds immediately. Morphine, saved my throat. Then it was a quick trip down the hall to ultrasound. While there the tech was very open about what she was seeing. She said yep baby was still alright, nothing in my tubes and ovaries looked great which was where my pain was centered. That helped but still didn't explain the continued blood loss and extreme pain I was in. She did take lots of pictures. So that was good for my OBGYN.
Went back and had to use the bathroom since the IV bag was pushing fluids. Once in there while washing my hands I got dizzy lightheaded and almost hit the floor. Zeus was a quick
Thinker and realized what was happening and called for help. I had lots of nurses holding me up. They wheeled me back to bed and then
Needed to administer anti nausea to relieve that horrible symptom. I needed oxygen to get me back from the episode in the bathroom. All it's was still extremely painful. Then came time for the pelvic exam. That was pure torture. The best way to get someone to tell the truth for sure. It hurt like hell. Oh man, now I'm really in pain. Doc said I was dilating a bit and she was concerned. After a few phone calls to my OB, it was decided that I could go home with hydrocodone for the continued pain and it was a wait and see game at this point. They put me on strict bed rest, only bathrooms trip should I be up.

The pain was rough later that night but Zeus kept me calm and administered meds as docs prescribed. We were up and down all night but bleeding had slowed tremendously. A good outlook from our perspective.

Saturday morning another big cramping session hit but little blood loss. Another good sign. My kids have never seen mommy screaming, crying and moaning like this. I know they thought I was dying. But Zeus was reassuring and so were our mothers and friends. My babies have been so helpful throughout this nightmare of a week. . While at hospital they made signs for my room. It was so sweet. They have been taking turns keeping me company an hour at a time. So cute, we even watched a movie all in the bed last night. Fun for the situation. I was sad that I let them down since we had 3 big events planned this weekend. I apologized to them. Hopefully they'll forgive me.

Sunday, I slept all night. It was the best sleep yet and I didn't need meds for over 20hrs. Up and to the bathroom the bleeding was now brown and only spots. Making progress I think. Zeus was able to give me a shower and Zulu brushed my hair. The base has organized a meal train for us and that has been amazing help. Such wonderful people and yummy food. We even get dessert a couple times. So I'm still in bed. But I'm all set up with flowers, kid picked rose, water, meds , smell good candle, water fountain on and control of the remotes. I'm being taken good care of for now.

So we are still pregnant and coconut still has a good heartbeat. We just take it day by day from here. Off to the OBGYN tomorrow to check again.

Please continue praying for the safety of me and coconut. Pray Apollo and Athena will understand our needs and are coping with all the uncertainty. We are OK today. Thank God he is watching over us. This is his plan. We
Just do as he says no matter how painful or bumpy it gets. Give god the glory.
Blessings bloggie buddies

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Bed rest

So Tuesday was a really rough day. From speeding ticket to ER visit it was an emotional day. Thankfully yesterday was a little better. Zeus was allowed to come home and will be replaced by a good friend. I was surrounded by my military family. With all our families living in Texas and Washington I didn't have loved ones to lean on. But I did, my military family has all stepped in the do what needed to be done. It's beautiful to feel this loved.

I did get to go to my OBGYN the first time yesterday. Pretty sucky circumstances, ya know. My OB is wonderful. Everything I needed her to be. She was confident, honest and helpful all while thoroughly answering my questions. We left knowing that we still had a baby on board. That was relieving. But she put me on bed rest and pelvic rest. Nothing or anyone comes near my hooha til next week.
Now it's simply a waiting game. Through all the pain, fear, sadness, and letdown I will remember God is here. This is his plan. This is his baby. This is his body. I'm just renting. I have to trust him. He will get us through the best and worst of this journey. He knows when it ends and if another begins.

I'll be honest. Today has sucked. I'm Lonely. Zeus is taking care of kids readying them for their first day of school tomorrow. I didn't have any visitors, besides the food delivery. Which by the way was awesome. I woke up bleeding heavily this morning, but much less than Tuesday night. As the day progressed it lessened to almost none. Then I sat up and played cards with my Zulu. After a bathroom visit I was bleeding again. So I told Zulu mommy had to lay flat and rest. That made me feel like such a jerk, I couldn't even play with my son. Who does that? I've been in bed all day fighting the urge to cry to get angry with the world. It came time together my shot and I didn't ice and let Zeus give it to me. That was the worst idea of the entire day. It burned and hurt so bad I got dizzy, lightheaded and even screamed loudly. I wanted to punch him. Especially when he had no sympathy. Can I just have my nurse or doctor come back and give me my shots? Now I'm so emotional it's retarded.
So here I lay with water fountain running, card table set up with my computer, phone, iPad, drinks and wonderful smelling candle. I'm bored, tired, frustrated, irritated and mad at the world. Please forgive me if I sound ungrateful or selfish. I'm just bitter as I'm pretty independent and controlling and I have to let go of my own body. Gods got this, right? Right. I'll keep telling myself that.
Pray my bleeding ends sooner than later and I heal properly. Pray I can carry coconut to term so that these more loving people can finally call themselves parents.

Bless you all for the continued prayers.

So Bed Rest it is!

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Rough night

Well after all the wonderful news of heartbeats and no more shots yesterday we were hit with a huge slap in the face, reality check.

After I made the babies quesadillas for dinner we played scattergories. I was relaxing on the couch when my stomach started feeling funky. So off to the bathroom I went. Immediately after sitting down the blood poured from my bottom. It was excessive. I freaked. I cried. I panicked. I called Zeus who was more than 800 miles away. My brain was fuzzy. I couldn't think straight. What was happening to me? This was way to much blood for this to be ok. Zeus told me he'd make some calls. I called my mom then as I couldn't even talk straight, pure panic. Zeus had called a former neighbor who is a doctor. Our friend J came to get me take me to ER. Zeus then called his boss and his wife met us at the ER. Then he called another coworker to ask if they could help with our babies. I talked to Zeus until I left for ER. We made it to ER and they for me in pretty quick after a struggle with a computer for registration. Thankfully J was by my side and I didn't have to do it alone. G, bosses wife and friend was there for moral support. After more bleeding, passing blood clots the size of apples. I finally had an ultrasound. They found baby Coconut still comfy with heartbeat. They ruled out other abdominal issues as well. I then needed to get the lovely Rhogam shot to help since my blood is negative and Apollos is positive.

That shot went in my booty, of course, and hurt like the dickens. Boy did it sting like fire.

After that I was given Tylenol-3, and anti nausea meds. I began to shake uncontrollably, which I do in labor or severe pain, for a half hour or so. That scared me even more. J and G were such positive thinkers and help keep my mind in a good place.

After two different sets of blood draws, a huge shot, a pelvic exam, full abdomen ultrasound, pain medicine, lots of waiting I'm finally at home resting.
Zeus is driving home as you read. K and A have my babies taken care of til Zeus is home tomorrow. E stopped by to let dogs out and is bringing me lunch. S came by to lift my spirits with her sweet little boy T. G is taking me to doctor again this afternoon for an OBGYN check up.

I'm ok. Still bleeding minor but much better today. I'm terribly sore and tired.

Please pray for all of us. Patience for the sitter, understanding for Zeus unit, hope for Apollo and Athena. Pray for me and coconuts safety.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Ultrasound #2, Do You See What I See?

Bloggie buddies, welcome back to the latest update in the world of surrogacy.

Today is the day we make or break this journey. Today we needed to see/hear a heartbeat and measure a fetal pole. I've been really feeling pregnant by the symptoms of  nausea, tiredness, sore breasts, bloated belly. So I figured things would be fine today. I know Apollo and Athena were really nervous and anxious. But thankfully they are on vacation with parents so they are staying busy.
Ultrasound went great today, technician even let me take some pictures and video to share with y'all. Wasn't that nice? I thought so.

We have a Baby, folks. Coconut is its new nickname. Coconut has a heartbeat about 132 bpm. That's perfect for almost 7 weeks. Coconut also has a fetal pole showing its growth and viability. Our little Coconut is measuring perfect. Aren't you guys excited?

Yesterday while cooking dinner I had a bit of an episode. Oh yeah, steamed broccoli is a NO NO until I'm no longer nauseous. It was so bad, thankfully sweet Zero took over and finished since Zeus continues to be out of town. She's such a great helper. Never had that happen before. That's my first trigger, broccoli. Thanks to Zero, she put it on the erase board so everyone knows not to have broccoli around Mommy. Quite the evening.

Todays appointment concludes that we have been released to a regular OBGYN with a scheduled appointment for the 28th. That's super exciting as I receieved the approved referral to the Doctor that I wanted yesteday in the mail. She's rated in the top 15 in the country. Not to shabby.

Anyone wanna see the pictures? yes, no. I thought you'd never ask.

The black stuff is the amniotic fluid surrounding little Coconut.

Gotta turn your head for this one, it was being stubborn and would not turn. But you can see our little Coconut.

Little Coconuts heartbeat as it is measured.
If you look at this video you can see Coconut has a fluttering heart, look close. There is no sound.

Blessings to all for your continued prayers

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

6 weeks

Ladies and Gentlemen

We made it to 6 weeks. Are any of you as excited as I am? I bet Apollo and Athena are! Today I took my kiddos school supply shopping. Holy Moly, that was crazy. Over $300 later we have backpacks loaded ready to take to school next week. Zeus has hit the road for his business trip.

Tonight I had to go to a friends house to have her give me my shot. I will have to do this until Zeus gets back since my kiddos aren't old enough to give me a shot yet. It was better than normal tonight. However, after my appt next week I think I might get down on my hands and knees and beg my doctor in Seattle to please let me stop the shots and change to suppositories. My booty hurts so darn bad. I can't even begin to explain. The lack of sleep is beginning to catch up to me since I cannot sleep on my back or either hip, I have to sleep on my stomach and that is growing so yea, I'm a mess.

Here's a new picture. Notice anything? Here's a hint, my pants don't button anymore.
Baby is the size of a Sweet Pea
Still craving tomatoes and popcorn
Now, I'm just TIRED. So TIRED.

Next week fingers crossed we should hear the heartbeat. Also hoping that's the last time to the fertility clinic and we can then go to the regular OBGYN.

Thank you all so much for all the prayers. We all appreciate them immensely.

Blessings Buddies

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Our first sonogram

Thursday was our first sonogram. There was a lot weighing on this appointment. We were not completely sure it was a viable pregnancy. It was scary going in thinking I could need surgery or a heavy medication. I had assured myself I was not having an ectopic pregnancy. So it was a long drive in to the doctor. I also was thinking how Apollo and Athena were doing, what could they be thinking or feeling? Did they understand all this medical jargon?

So the appt was about 11am. I got into ultrasound pretty quickly but the tech was silent and didn't share much info at all. She did show me my uterus and the area that a sac could be in if there was one but really was vague about seeing anything. After she was done, about 30 minutes they took me to another room to see the doctor. It took over an hour before I got to see him. So I sat half naked on the table waiting patiently, or impatiently since I was to take my daughter to the orthodontist in 45 minutes. During that time Zeus got stuck at an awards ceremony and couldn't take Zero. So while on the table I called Ortho and rescheduled her appt later in the month since it was not looking good that we would make it on time.

Then a while later the doc came in. He had a solemn look. That scared me even more. First thing he said was my tubes looked clear for now. We would need to monitor them carefully over the next few weeks. Huge relief. Like enough for him to recognize my reaction. Then he said they could see two sacs in the uterus. He shared that was great. We had one precious embryo attached correctly to my uterine lining. That was wonderful. I know most people were hoping for 2 babies but our main goal was one baby. And thankfully the Lord is in control and he gave us one. So at this point we are
Measuring on time for a due date of April 2, 2013.

We now must schedule a second ultrasound to measure fetal pole and baby heartbeat. During this time I need my insurance to refer me to an obgyn. On Friday Zeus and I went in to chat with the OB coordinator. It was a long chat explaining that Catholic hospitals don't deliver surrogate babies and we needed a slightly different referral than most. Hopefully that goes through soon so we can get this second one done and we can relax for a bit.

I will ask for prayers as Zeus is leaving for a while and my super mom wings will be on in full force. Pray that my referral gets approved. Pray that the shots will go away real soon since my booty is beyond sore. I'm not sleeping comfortably since my poor rump throbs when I lay on it. Pray for a continued normal pregnancy.

Blessings bloggie buddies

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

5 weeks

Today we hit 5 weeks. Tomorrow I have an ultrasound to make sure baby is growing in the uterus and not in the stomach cavity or fallopian tube. We will also find out if it's one or more. I thought I'd start something fun for all of you long distant folks. We get to Skype with Apollo and Athena tonight too. I did get the ball rolling to transfer to a regular OB today and I found out that I was in fact pregnant. Surprise!!!! Ok, so you already knew that. But it has to be done again for my insurance, so why not share it with all of you. Today's morning sickness was much better than yesterday's. I had to get out of shower early yesterday to keep from passing out. It was BAD, ALL DAY. Thank goodness that was only one day. Woo Hoo

5 Weeks~

Baby is size of an Orange seed
Craving: Tomatoes, Hot tea, Popcorn

Feeling: Tired and Slight Morning Sickness

Will post update to tomorrows appointment. Again hoping for good news.

Prayers are still very much appreciated. Thank In advance.


Monday, July 30, 2012

Beta Test #2 Results

Hello My Dear Bloggie Buddies , where do I begin?

Today has been quite the day. This morning the little boys and I dropped off big sister at band camp and we headed to the clinic. I was scheduled for a blood draw first thing this morning. The last day or two I had lost most of my pregnancy symptoms. So I was terrified going into this test this morning. However, I knew that there were hundreds of people praying for us and this journey. I knew God was completely in control and all of this was his timing. So I was not concerned what the result was. I knew whatever it was, God would guide us where we needed to go.

The test took all of 2 minutes. The nurse said when I walked in without any other info, you must be here for an HCG. I said how'd you guess, she said you are glowing. That made me relax and feel much better about what I was about to do. Once we were finished we left quietly. My little boys were so well behaved. I was so proud of them. They were quiet, respectful and listened intently. It was so helpful. I think they knew Mommy just needed peace today. Now we wait, which we are all getting used to.

So the time came for my results. 343. Positive. My chin dropped to the floor. There I was resting on the couch with the babies watching the American Water Polo match for the Olympics. The first words out of their mouths, Are you Pregnant yet, Mommy? I nodded yes and they each proceeded to gently hug and pat my belly. This is huge for all of us. WE ARE PREGNANT!!!

Apollo was giddy chatting with me on the phone. Sharing with me that Athena was in the air on a plane. It was so cute. He was talking a hundred miles a minute. He sounded like a giggly teenager. It was so wonderful to hear. I loved being able to chat with him. It reminded me why I was doing what I am doing. It made me so happy to hear him so happy.

So, here we are Bloggie Buddies, Pregnant with our first surro baby/babies. In a couple weeks we go back in for an ultrasound to check everything and to find out if we have one or more. Continue all those prayers. You warriors are awesome and I thank each of you.

Finally got to talk with Athena this evening and she was thrilled. She was bummed to be on a business trip without Apollo but I told her that's how my pregnancies go. Daddy is never with Mommy when we learn of happy news. Athena also shared with me that she knew something was good as she was sitting in row 9, seat 9 her lucky number. Her sign. She learned of the news just as the airplane doors were closing. I bet that was the longest plane ride of her life.So grateful she made it safe.

HERE WE GO........ PREGNANT, Can you believe it,  WE ARE PREGNANT!!!!

And making her Blog debut, Miss Chocolate Princess, Apollo and Athena's first baby.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

First beta blood test

Well first thing this morning was our first beta blood test. I went in a little nervous because I hadn't felt like I was solidly pregnant. Obviously there have been symptoms but those also arise with the medication I'm on. So I was very cautious. So we made it in about 8:30am and by 9:40am we had a result. HCG is a hormone in the blood that is released by baby. Those levels are suppose to double every 2-3 days after embryos implant. We were expecting our embryos to implant Wednesday or Thursday last week. Today my hcg level was 40.8. Not great but not unheard of. The doctor would to have liked it at about 100 or more with that timing. So this could mean a number of things. One, it could be a late implant meaning I'm not as far along as we expected by medical timing. Two, it could mean a chemical pregnancy occurred. That I actually never had an embryo implant. Three, it could mean an ectopic pregnancy. This would be a pregnancy and implant that happened in my Fallopian tube and is very dangerous.
So right now, my family will continue our trip home driving 2500 miles and once we return to St. Louis I will be retested on Monday. My levels will need to have risen to above 200 for this to be considered a viable pregnancy. At that point we will then have an ultrasound to rule out an ectopic pregnancy.

I know God is in control and all this is in his timing. I'm trying really hard not to get discouraged. But if this turns out to be negative I have to start all over with all the stomach shots, lupron, and we wait 6 weeks or more to try again if Apollo and Athena are up for us to try again. Definitely not the news I was hoping for but at least we still have a 50/50 shot of this being a full on pregnancy.
My feelings are all over the place today. I am sad that it is not full steam
Ahead as I know Apollo and Athena don't need any more heartbreak than what they have already had. I'm frustrated that maybe I did do something wrong or that I ate or drank something, or maybe my purse was too heavy or a million other things. I'm glad we are headed home because I could really use my bed and my pillow about right now. I'm fighting tears still leaning on God to take the reigns and drive this boat where he needs us to go. I just ask that you all say a prayer for Gods will, Apollo/Athena's peace, my safety and for a baby to implant itself squarely in my uterus. Pray for our safe travels home and that I don't get too overly emotional over this.

So we continue to wait for Monday until then please enjoy your last week days and the upcoming weekend.

Blessings Y'all

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Two week wait

This morning I'm a bit uneasy about what is happening or not happening with my body. It's so nerve wracking not knowing whether all this is headed in the right direction or if we must try it again. I'm hopeful. But I still remember this is Gods plan. He is in complete control so no matter what the doctor tells us on Wednesday we must trust him.
Anybody else out there wondering and waiting on pins and needles. During this week I have had a day of nausea, 2 days of crampiness, and a day of uncomfortablness. Yesterday the heartburn hit me like a ton of bricks.and then last night I got my first foot and toe cramping in the middle of the night. To me these are all signs leading to what we want to hear but I still have that little bug saying "nothing's 100%".
I'll say this, I'm working hard to eat all the right things and stay away from
No so good things. I'm proud of myself, I've had little to no caffeine this past week. I've listened to what the doctors said, no lifting, no straining, no alcohol, and all those other no's.

So now we all wait. I'll find out late Wednesday afternoon and then we will start making phone calls. Thursday I plan to post it here, if we don't get around to calling everyone please understand we will be driving home
And cell coverage is iffy in many places on our route.

Say a prayer that peanut and/or coconut decided to rent a womb. We are hopeful for tenants.

Blessings Y'all

Monday, July 16, 2012

Embryo Transfer

Today was such a big day but a really fun day. It started out with a fantastic breakfast made by my HP Athena. Then the boys went off on an adventure and we girls did a little maternity shopping. It was so much fun. The best part was the attachable belly. Athena thinks I made a good pregnant model. I was so much fun.

trying on clothes

Then we had lunch purchased by the boys just before having to take the Valium and having to drink a ton of water. Then we were off to the clinic as I began to feel woozy and quite possibly what a drunk feels like. The clinic was beautiful and everyone was so nice. I do not remember much as I began to lose most of my concentration as everything became fuzzy.  I made sure Zeus took photos while we were in there so I could have those memories for later.


This is me and Athena before things got moving. We were both very excited and a bit nervous. transferall

Here’s one of Apollo, Athena and I before the procedure got moving.


Here’s our two precious embryos right after they were thawed this morning. Notice Peanut is already hatching, Coconut is not far behind. The embryologist said that we only thawed two and they are both Grade A. That means they are the best of the best.  Isn't this picture amazing. Two precious nuts soon to be babies.

Now its time to proceed with the transfer.DustyinBed

Our nurse finding my uterus on the ultrasound machine. They use this for the Doctor to view the catheter as he inserts the embryos. That’s another reason I had to drink loads of water, a liter and a half to be precise.


Here’s another view of our embryos as coconut decides to hatch along with Peanuts earlier hatching. This was a monitor we could watch them on before they were sucked into the catheter to be transferred to me.


Here’s our embryologist taking care of the embryos in a infant incubator. That was so cool.


Here’s the nurse explaining to everyone what we were looking at on the ultrasound monitor. The big black thing on top is my bladder.


Another view of the nurse and the ultrasound monitor. Are you guys following me? I hope you are not lost. All of this stuff happened within an hour.


Here is the embryologist and the Doctor putting the embryos into my uterus, their new home for the next nine months.  Doctor said everything went great. They believe we are looking at a 85% chance of a pregnancy and 70% chance of twins.  These are positive odds. Now, it is time for Twinkle to rest and relax so these babies can burrow into the uterine lining in the next 48 hours. Lots of don’ts for me the next few days. This was a highly emotional day. However most is just a blur as the valium really took me out, Zeus, Apollo and Athena filled me in so I could share with all you guys.


This is the wonderful team that made it all happen while I am passed out. Keep us in your prayers as these lil’ nuts take hold and continue to grow. Now we wait until the 25th for our first HCG beta test, also known as a pregnancy test. Sit tight and we will soon know the outcome of this procedure.

Thanks for following and keep reading my dear Bloggie Buddies.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Last weekend of non-pregnant woman

This has really been a crazy busy weekend. It started out first thing Saturday morning meeting our HPs for breakfast. Then family stuff all day and meeting with friends that night then Sunday we went to church, all 18 of us. That was moving as God continued to speak to me. I really enjoyed the service. Then we were off to the Ranger game. It was awesome!!! The Rangers beat Seattle at home 4-0 with Ian Kinsler belting a homer. I loved being at the game with all the family. It was a real treat. Even watching some see their first professional game ever. Then all the babies got to run the bases on the field. That was super cool to see.

Dad took the 18 of us and Apollo and Athena out for a wonderful dinner in downtown Seattle after the game. It was really nice and extremely yummy. Thanks Dad, great idea. Then it was off to the HPs house to prepare for tomorrows big embryo transfer. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous but hugging my 2 sister-in-laws tonight really gave me the strength and encouragement I needed knowing that all the family was behind me 100%. I really wasn't sure how everyone felt about it but listening to them chat with Athena was really calming for me. I must say thank you to all my supporters through this process. I love you all and really do enjoy talking with all of you. Thank you.

Here's a few photos from today.

Please pray for our life changing day tomorrow as our journey gets REAL.

Blessings Bloggie Buddies

Meet n Greet

Today was a big day for us in the growing family process. Since neither Zeus or I had ever met Athena in person or Apollos parents we thought it'd be nice to meet up before our transfer. So we went to apollos parents house first thing this morning and met up with them and the future grandparents. It was a wonderful visit no matter how nervous I was, which I was. We had fun things to talk about and fun things to catch up on. While I was there Athena gave me this cool bag with the wording I'm the Stork on it. Soooo cute and in my favorite color. In the bag was fun treats that she thought I'd love. Heck yes, circus peanuts, gummy bears, decaffeinated tea and a few others. But the best part or my favorite part was the mug. She had a travel mug made for me. It was perfect. So special.

Then we went to breakfast at a fun little restaurant. It was really yummy. We were able to talk about some things. That was much needed. After that Zeus thought it would be fun to buy them a book to help them understand and involve them in the pregnancy process. So we found a fun little hometown bookstore and located the book we needed. Shared our thoughts on why we felt they needed it. It was fun. I hope they can follow the pregnancy with a more connected feeling.

Today was a great day all around from start to finish. We enjoyed our nieces 2nd birthday party with lots of family and friends and then were able to meet up with one of Zeus' other classmates for dessert. Beautiful day.

Blessings and continue the prayers as 4 doses of progesterone have been given with only 2 more til transfer.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

One down....

Oh mercy, I'm so thankful that today ingot to spend with my bestest friend in the whole world. Her and her amazing husband kept me distracted from tonight's no so fun event. We even made a deal which I will now be counting down the days.

Tonight I had to start the very first progesterone in oil injection. Not so fun. This is an intramuscular shot in the rear, butt, behind or whatever you wanna call it. I've been dreading it for months. No seriously, months. So after watching footloose and having a wonderful chat with our friends it was time for the event. So first thing I had to change my patches and go from 4 patches back down to two. That's never really a problem just a bit of a pain to do. Not painful or hard, just annoying. Once that was done I put I big ice pack in my underwear and wore that for several minutes until Zeus was finished walking the dogs. I got it all set up, using two separate needles, one BIG one to draw the meds and another to inject.

Zeus has had me freaked for weeks explaining that he would give it to me like his dad gives it to horses, slap, slap, pop!!! Talk about making my stomach churn. Heck no was he gonna treat me like that. So the whole time he's picking at me. If you know him you know he LOVES to pull my strings and make me mad, upset, irritated, agitated and downright annoyed. He was no different tonight. He acted like he was gonna be rough but he actually gave me the shot and I did not even feel it. He was gentle and joking in a loving manor. Tonight was huge for me. It went over very well.

So we are now in the home stretch. Less than 5 days until our big day, transfer of two precious frozen and thawed embies.

Keep those prayers coming. We hit the road tomorrow to finish our trip to Washington.

Blessings bloggie buddies

Monday, July 9, 2012

Murphy's law

Well everyone we are on the road to our HPs clinic and Zeus' hometown. We drove about 7 hours yesterday and ended at Fort Riley in Kansas. We had great lodging at the base. We had a 3bdrm, 2bth, full kitchen and living room hotel room. It was perfect for all of us. But it was a bit unusual.

We did not have an Ice machine nor was the freezer ice maker on. So I took a trip to the shoppette, a mini gas station. I was looking for ice for my injection. It was closed, just my luck. So I used an unconventional method, wet a washcloth and stuck it in the freezer for about 20 min. It was perfect. Then everyone into to bed and Princess our 10 yr old yorkie got sick and started puking. Zeus and I tag teamed for a while, except he was never able to go back to sleep. So at 3am he got up packed all the bags, got me up and said we were leaving. We left babies in jammies and hit the road about 4am. Lots of early stops but managed to get some Miles behind us before princess started puking again. Now we are north of Denver but no photos of mountains because my luck, it was pouring rain. Oh well, we are moving about halfway through todays stretch.
Here's 2 photos.
One of the boy that shares a name and the other of some bruises on my belly as of last night.

Blessings bloggie buddies

Friday, July 6, 2012

Houston, We are go for launch

Yes, folks today I had the defining ultrasound and bloodwork determining whether our timeline would stay or change. I had to have a minimum lining thickness of 8mm and mine was 15mm. Then I had to have a 120 of estrogen and 2 of progesterone. All were within the limits. We will have liftoff on 16 July @ 1pm.

Apollo and Athena are on a camping trip so they are out of communication, so hopefully they will be able to check email sooner or later and see the gret news.

Our family will head for their home state this weekend making a few stops along the way before reaching our destination of Zeus' hometown late week.

Continue your loving prayers for our safe travels and a problem free take-off as we attempt a journey no family member has tried before.

Houston, We are go for launch, countdown please.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Ummm that's not right

Ok so the shots have been going pretty good lately until now. I didn't change any of my regular routine. Put the ice on, prepared the needle and then I tried to stick myself. Well it didn't go in as smoothly as the others normally do but I just pushed it in and released the medicine. After I pulled it out it bled and then it got his huge bump that looked green/purple like a bruise but very raised. It really freaked me out a bit. Asked Zeus and together we think I hit a blood vessel under the skin. I really don't care what I hit it sure did rattle me a bit. Immediately I decided to lay down hoping and wishing that it will go away and not burst and cover me with blood. Ewe now that would be freaky, don't ya think? Yea, maybe I should stay right here in bed avoiding the every 5 minute cover lifting to check the size of my latest bump. Looks like it is slowly getting smaller but I can't say for sure .

In other news we have our final ultrasound prior to transfer on Friday morning. This will tell us if the lining in my uterus is ready for a transfer in a few days. It's getting so close. If all is well then we will begin our travel across 2500 miles to our HPs fertility clinic.
Please continue to pray for safe travels, thick lining, no more bumps, and relaxing week for my HPs.
Blessings to all you bloggie Buddies

Thursday, June 28, 2012

3rd Times A Charm

After my last ultrasound I got to start taking estradiol patches. I have a really strict schedule of when to put it on and when to change it or add more. This week I am on my 3rd set of patches. I'm on 2 patches for 2 days. Then I'll go to three and then four before we do the transfer. But that comes later, right now this experienced, stretch marked, flabby belly of mine has 3 sets of patch marks. It's kinda funny now that I have those and needle entry marks and a few bruises to add to the beauty this belly is seriously taking a beating before ever having babies kick me, LOL. Anyways, there's two pictures here, can you tell which one is the patches vs which one is just the residue. I think it's funny, you might not but it's just another step towards making this couple a family. I never dreamed that there would be this much preparation for a comfy home but geez was I ever surprised.

The third set of patches has actually been much better than the first two, today I have zero symptoms. No headaches, no sore scalp, no itchiness, well not sure about weight gain but that's been an ongoing fight with all these meds. Not overly worried since I am about to need that weight for the precious cargo that will soon be on board. Trying to maintain my excitement and squash my expectations since my HPs will definitely be thinking differently than I but I'm hopeful we get the outcome we hope for the first shot, haha or 200th shot!!!!! I crack myself up, get it all the shots I'm taking. Ok, so maybe you don't. I must lonely or something with Zeus having been gone all week. Anyways, that's the latest update from my world. I'll try to share more soon. Just keep those prayers coming.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Another step complete

Wow, when we started this process I did not think it would have ever taken this long. But today I never imagined us actually getting to this point. It's been a long road and we aren't even pregnant yet. I'm anxious every time we reach a milestone.

Today we received fantastic news. We have frozen embryos and more than any of us anticipated. It's awesome. We have enough to do this process several times. Thank you Lord above. It's so cool to know our embryos are simply waiting on me now. Actually puts the pressure on much heavier than before. . I'm working hard not to miss a dose of my meds and to follow all of my instructions to a t. We are now less than a month away from a pregnancy. I've started searching out maternity clothes. I actually bought 2 dresses that were on sale and then added a coupon so I got 2 brand new cute dresses for $18. They will be perfect for my dress loving , expanding body. Now for garage sales, thrift stores and loaners.

We are officially one more step complete. Keep the prayers coming folks we need them, all of them we can get.

Blessings bloggie buddies

Friday, June 22, 2012

Hold on....

Today I had another ultrasound to measure the lining once again since it was too thick on Wednesday. I was so nervous this morning headed to the office. My 40 mile drive was much easier today versus the 90minute drive on Wednesday. Once I arrived I had to wait awhile for the room to clear. That did not help my nervousness one bit.

We get in and she's taking pictures and I measure at a 7. She seems pleased with the result. I'm trying everything not to crawl off the table because it hurt so bad. Really would not recommend a vaginal ultrasound twice in one week. Oh man, I might not be able to make myself pee the next few days. Ouch!!!

So the fertility clinic called and said lining is still too thick, it absolutely needs to be at a 5. That figures, leave it to my body to hold on to everything baby. Seriously!!! So she says we have to wait one more day before Lupron can be reduced and patches can be started. This will delay things by one day as of now. Next ultrasound is now moved to July 6. I'm bummed and a bit sad that I am now holding things up.

So it looks like Saturday is the day we get to mix it up a bit and add some crazy hormones. Hoping Zeus and babies remain patient and loving as I have no idea how these new meds will affect me or my mood.

Say a prayer that things stay on target without too many more hiccups. Say a prayer that Apollo does well in his triathlon this weekend. Say a prayer that the meds don't take me for too big of a ride.

Hold on to your hats, we're in for a bit of a roller coaster ride.


Wednesday, June 20, 2012

We have embryos!!!!

Today was another milestone day in the journey to familyhood. Donor eggs were successfully retrieved with 13 of the 18 successfully fertilized. We are so very excited about this. Now they grow for 6 days to become blastocysts before being cryopreserved awaiting my arrival. So I know Athena and Apollo have got to be elated, cautiously optimistic.

As far as my progress goes,
I had an ultrasound this morning and had my estradiol levels checked. The lining in my uterus was determined to be too thick (12mm) and needs to be 5mm. So we need mother nature to kick in and release some of that extra lining. Thankfully the ultrasound kicked that into gear, TMI, so sorry. Prepare for the details folks. Anyways I must go back on Friday morning for another ultrasound to see if my lining levels have come down. Once that happens we can reduce my Lupron dosage by half and start estrogen patches. Estradiol levels were just right so that was very good news, meaning meds are working and body is accepting them.

We are still on target so keep the prayers coming that at least 4 embryos make it blastocyst stage on Monday. Also pray that my body reduces the lining and allows us to keep moving forward.

Blessings Bloggie Buddies

Monday, June 18, 2012

Pin cushion

A few days ago Athena decided she wanted my nickname to be pin cushion. If you ask why then you must not have read that I have to receive daily injections for about 4 months. Its fitting, thats for sure. So, she texted me the other day and said "hey PC". I fell off the bed laughing so hard. It truly was funny, or so I thought. Thanks Athena!!

Last night I discovered that each of the injection sites are beginning to bruise, ugly green bruises. I now look more like a punching bag than a pin cushion. My injections are coming along though and I'm getting a little better each day at dispensing the medicine without reading 3 pages of directions which I had been doing the last several days. Zeus has yet to give me an injection, I've had the courage to continue them myself since he came home. Woo hoo, for now.

On another note I'm looking for maternity clothes. Since my youngest is 6 1/2 yr old and we had completed our family I shared mine with others and am starting from scratch all over again. So if you have some laying around or know a friend/neighbor I'm more than willing to accept used clothing in size large and extra large. I blow up quickly once pregnant so I will need them fairly soon. I do not want to have to buy all new as that will get expensive. Never done a full
Winter pregnancy, so this should be different. Please help if you can!!!!

Birth control pills were completed on Friday and we are now waiting on mother nature to arrive any day. Wednesday we go for ultrasound and bloodwork and we will add estrogen patches to the daily med regimen then as well. I hear we have egg retrieval from our donor that day as well. Athena might have a phone glued to her face all day with all the excitement.

Today I've been sick to my stomach since about 3pm, not a good sign. Zeus needs a nastigram since he is less than helpful and lacks any sympathy.

Thanks for your continued prayers for my upcoming pregnancy, my hopeful parents patience, strength and courage and for safe travels.

Off to Santa Clause Indiana for a few days with my babies for outstanding report cards. I'll write when we return

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Injection day 3

Alright friends yesterdays injection by far has been the worst shot I've had to give myself ever. It was pure misery, and I do not say that lightly. The shot yesterday laid me out. As soon as the needle touched my skin it hurt like the dickens and it was all downhill from there. I immediately got sick to my stomach, thinking that vomiting would actually make me feel better. By the time I got the cap on the needle and put it in the needle disposal box the room was spinning. I started seeing spots and the color from my skin disappeared. I was lightheaded, dizzy, nauseous and not feeling well at all. I laid down as fast as I could so I didn't pass out. It took almost 2 hours before my tummy settled down.

I was determined that today's shot was going to be nothing like last nights. It was dreadful. I decided to try my best to relax and I put an ice block on my stomach for about 5 minutes. Once I couldn't feel the ice anymore, it didn't feel cold, I thought it would be OK to give myself the shot. I prepared everything and cleaned my tummy where the injection site would be and stood there trying my best not to think about it. Took the needle and stuck myself, shockingly surprised that I did not feel a thing. OH Happy Day. This is fantastic. I did not hurt, I did not get sick, I did not get dizzy and there was no tummy ache. Thank you Lord above. I have found the new recipe for self injections. So here I stand on day 3 thinking much more positively than ever before. These Lupron injections are going to be manageable. Thankfully. Now if we could make the Progesterone injections this manageable we will be in good shape.

So I leave you will warm fuzzies for today. Thanks to all of you bloggie buddies out there for your prayers. They are making a huge difference. I hope you continue to follow my journey and pray for both families as we put one foot in front of the other each and every day.

Blessings to all of you.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Day 1, and we are off and running or stabbing

Well silent readers, today is the day that the 4 of us have looked forward to for a long time. The day meds were started. I've really avoided the topic most the day other than when my dear Mother in Law called to check and see how it went. But I didn't have much to share with her, since I'm waiting til evening time to take the meds. Now I do.

Are you guys all wondering how it went? I bet you are. But I have something I want to ask of each of you, first.

 I really do look forward to hearing from or reading your thoughts. So please leave me comments at the bottom of each blog topic. I have no idea who's following my story and I shouldn't worry about it but it is nice to know your thoughts too.

So tonight I was rather freaked out when I got all the papers, materials, needles, boxes and etc. all laid out. I must say I have never really been fully interested in all this medical stuff. So I never have paid attention when someone drew medicine from a vial into a needle. Why the heck would I need to know that? That was dumb, because today I needed to know how to do that.

While all the babies were watching movies in their rooms I prepared myself for this medical procedure. Zeus is out of town for the week so I could not rely on him to do it for me. I had to gain the strength to do this myself. Glory to God for this strength.

So here is the medicine, needle and the alcohol to clean both the meds and my tummy.

Cap off now and ready to wipe clean with the alcohol

Now the needle is ready to dispense the medicine

All set, Now to clean my tummy with the alcohol

Here I go, giving  myself the very first injection of this journey, my first surrogacy journey.

OUCH, Holy Toledo that hurt. I have no clue what people say that doesn't hurt. YIKES. The best part is that I did not get dizzy, no lightheadedness, no tummy ache. That is the first time ever for me. However I think I sweat for about 30 minutes afterwards.

Now, I have never taken hormones other than a few weeks of birth control pills. So, I have no idea how my body or mind will react to this medication. Should Zeus and the babies be scared, I don't know. I just hope that the daily injections don't make me go haywire. I'll apologize in advance for any wild emotional behavior. Just blame it on the medication.

Today I made it. I did something I never thought I'd ever be able to do. I gave myself the first injection of medication. I am now one more day closer to the goal of a pregnancy.

Say a little prayer that tomorrows injection goes as well as today. Say a prayer that my HP's hearts will be opened to the vulnerabilities that we parents experience through this journey. Say a prayer that Zeus travels safely home after his week in Ohio. Say a prayer that I will not have negative reactions to the medication. Leave me a comment!!!

Blessings and we are off and running or stabbing.