Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Lots on my mind

Today my head is swirling. First off lets deal with the medical issues. I am back to bleeding after a short break. It's not too bad and seems to get better as the day goes by. I'm OK. I'm not better. I'm not happy. I'm just OK. I enjoy being able to share with all of you how this process is going. I appreciate all the positive comments, suggestions, and good prayers and thoughts.

But please, I do not need any negative remarks during this rough time of my pregnancy. If you don't like what I am doing or saying then please I ask you to stop reading and remove yourself from my page. I had to make this invite only due to the negative views and comments. This journey is meant to be positive. Its suppose to open peoples eyes to the world of infertility and the positive changes made within the medical community that allow infertile parents the opportunity to have biological children. I'm frustrated, I'll be honest. Today was a rough day on the emotional side. I'm thankful for family support and close friend support.


Surrogacy comes with a lot of sacrifices on both sides. But because I am a surrogate I will share my sacrifices so that if you are thinking of starting your own journey you are fully aware of what you are getting yourself into. Many don't.
1. Medical testing, numerous needle sticks, numerous trans vaginal ultrasounds. Lots and lots of blood testing, drug testing, STD testing.
2. The loss of family events and normal life. If on bed rest you will forfeit your normal life to follow doctors orders.
3. Tons and tons of questioning by Intended Parents. Some very negative and personal.
4. Subject to psychological exam for both the surrogate and her spouse.
5. Possible sour of relationship of Intended Parents and the Surrogate/Spouse.
6. Loss of sexual relationship. You are subject to being told not to involve yourself sexually with your spouse for many things. Prior to the Transfer there is up to a 2 week time of abstinence. For 3 days after the transfer. And when placed on Bed Rest and/or Pelvic rest which could last months. This is important to understand when walking this journey. It can really affect a marital relationship.
7. You subject your family to negative comments, opinions and frustrating conversations with people with negative perspectives.
8. Loads, and I mean loads of shots. Shots in the stomach, shots in the butt, shots in the arms. Ridiculous amounts of shots. In the hundreds. Many which hurt like nothing you've experienced.
9. Strict medication calendar that will affect mood swings.
10. You will need a lawyer whom you trust that works with surrogacy arrangements.
11. You agree not to travel for significant amounts of time during the pregnancy.
12. You agree to risk your life for a family to have a baby.
13. You sacrifice time with family to endure possible hospitalizations.
14. The need for a huge life insurance policy.
15. Health insurance that covers surrogacy. This can be tricky to find.

I could go on and on about the sacrifices. I have given up so much to get to 9 weeks of pregnancy.


My heart throughout this process was to give a family a child and receive 0, ZERO compensation. That's right folks, unlike the majority of surrogate's that receive thousands of dollars. I have chosen to give a family a baby for nothing. That's love. That's kindness. That's what listening to God accomplished. Sometimes people tell me I'm insane. Well, maybe I am and sometimes I might think I am for doing this without required gifts, required monetary amounts, required events, tickets or anything else. The reason I push through and continue this journey is because God asked me to, so I'm following his lead. Its not easy and this pregnancy makes this terribly difficult to keep putting one foot in front of the other but I look at close friends and understand it's people like me that make many peoples dreams come true. I didn't have to do it free of charge. I was trying to be nice and help someone not pay an arm and a leg for a child. I do it out of the LOVE in my HEART.

I leave tonight with this, Prayer is needed severely. I need my prayer warriors praying for all parties involved. This baby is healthy as far as we know and I will try my hardest to hand over a full term, healthy child at the end of this journey. Please I beg of you to pray that God will place his hands on all of us and remind us what is being sacrificed and why we are doing this. Pray for the bigger picture. Thanks Buddies, I thank you for reading and following my journey.


  1. I can't imagine anyone having anything negative to say about this journey.....they obviously have never been told "you'll never have children".......

    YOU'RE AMAZING DUSTY! Prayer continue everyday!

  2. i was thinking the same thing as the previous poster... i cant think of one negative thing that could be spoken about this!! I'll continue praying for all involved!!

  3. Your story is a wonderful example of kindness and generosity, Dusty. Praying for everyones peace and health!

  4. Dusty I'm so sorry you are getting any negative feedback during this journey! If it helps I think what you are doing is amazing. I can't imagine what life would be like to not have my son in it. I think you are doing something that is beyond words! Hang in there!

  5. Hey Dusty, just wanted to say I've been thinking of you and hope that you're feeling much better and not bleeding anymore. This has been a tough journey so far and you are a trooper! You are amazing.